Running Thoughts | When Running Became My Thing

Back in 2019, I'd never stuck with running - or any fitness goal - long enough to see real progress. I had this awful habit of dabbling: training just enough to feel competent, then losing interest or getting injured, and walking away.

That habit spiraled into quitting before I even gave myself a chance. By 2019, my only real skill was giving up.

At the same time, I was consuming everything that promised success stories. Podcasts about elite runners, YouTube videos breaking down marathon training plans, and Instagram posts of people crossing the finish lines. It all looked so easy - wake up, train, conquer - but that simplicity blurred the reality.

It sounded so straightforward: start running and don't stop. But simple isn't the same as easy.

The Short-Term Mindset

Before 2019, I chased short-term results. I signed up for races not because I loved running, but because I wanted medals, recognition, or just to feel like I was achieving something.

And yet, I was never truly motivated by those things. I'd scroll through social media, blown away by stories of runners hitting crazy splits and breaking records, and convince myself I needed to do the same.

"If I just commit to this plan for a few months, I'll be there too," I'd think.

But here's the catch: committing to a goal for a few months is easy to say, painfully hard to do. When you decide to train for something big - whether it's a marathon or a new personal best - you're accepting that most days won't feel glamorous. You'll endure more bad runs than euphoric ones.

I couldn't stomach that, not for something I wasn't fully passionate about.

Finding My Why

I can't count the number of hours I spent trying to figure out why I run.

What's the purpose? What's the goal? What am I chasing?

I'd analyze my pace, replay every bad race in my head, and obsess over what I wanted to achieve. I thought that if I could just uncover my "why," everything would click.

But here's what I've learned: sometimes, you don't need a reason. You just need to start.

Reducing Expectations

When I finally committed to running, I dropped my expectations.

I wasn't chasing races or qualifying for Boston (BQ). I wasn't running to prove anything. I just wanted to move. To get outside. To feel my body in motion.

At first, I didn't care about pace or distance. I wasn't trying to keep up with anyone. Running was my way of clearing my head, of untangling my thoughts.

Now, years later, running still feels like therapy. It's my reset button, the thing I turn to when life gets messy.

And it's funny - without the pressure of expectations, running has given me so much more than I ever thought possible.

Don't Start with Why, Start with When

The trouble with finding your "why" is that it doesn't always appear right away.

When I first started running, I couldn't explain why I wanted to get up early, lace up my shoes, and hit the pavement. I didn't have a grand plan. I just knew I needed to move.

So instead of focusing on why I was running, I focused on when.

In the beginning, it wasn't about dramatic 5 a.m. wake-ups because that habit would never stick for me. Instead, it was small changes: getting out the door 20 minutes earlier than usual. Those 20 minutes became sacred - a signal to myself that I was doing something for myself.

Sometimes, those runs were short, slow, and uninspiring. Other times, they felt like magic. It didn't matter. The real win was simply showing up.

The Cocktail of Giving Up

Looking back, the reason I gave up on so many goals was that they were never aligned with what I truly wanted. They were clouded by unrealistic expectations and external pressures.

But when I stopped overthinking, stopped chasing the perfect "why," and just started running, something shifted. I found time every day to put one foot in front of the other. I let my gut lead the way.

Sometimes, You Don't Start with Why

You don't need a deep reason to start running.

You don't need to figure out your life's purpose before you sign up for that 5K or commit to running three times a week.

Sometimes, all you need is a "when." Start small. Lace up and go. Let the process reveal its own meaning over time.

Because, in the end, running isn't about grand plans or perfect motivations. It's about the moment you decide to start.

Life is Golden.

- Adam D.

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Disclaimer: The AI tools utilized in this article were used solely for editing and grammar checks; all concepts and ideas presented are my own (a human).

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