Patience Is a Virtue but Don’t Wait to Be Happy

And don't wait to say what you need to say. And don't wait to live the life you want to live.

Yesterday we lost our dear friend because of cancer. Ken was sixty-eight years old. Five months ago he and I were sitting on the beach drinking coconuts on grass. My husband and I were on a private farm that my husband and I drove every winter in Mexico.

He was the happiest person I had ever met and knew that he had only months to live.

Ken talked about how he always thought he would live to be a mature elder. His father did. His father lived to be ninety years old. But last year Ken found out that he had a brain tumor and that he had less than a year to live.

Ken was the one who showed me and my husband how to find purpose in our lives and happiness. He saw our good relationship with the wise old couple - who became our mentors, who would teach us how to be happy by helping others learn to love themselves.

We are growing

Significantly, I lost my father two weeks ago. His death was a blessing. She was suffering from severe dementia. Our relationship was complex; we had a good and sour life together. He was my first best friend until I was eleven and then he became my biggest villain.

What I have become is partly because of my relationship with him. Through her first example and her encouragement I became brave and kind to everyone and because of her abuse, I deeply chose to live a life of understanding.

Thanks to him I learned to speak out against abuse, despite self-sacrifice (years of separation from my family) and learned to heal myself. And because of him, I ended up dedicating my life to helping others heal themselves and achieve perfection.

I regret and regret that my father never got up to do any work in his life. But this was his life to do as he pleased, knowingly or unknowingly. And I excuse myself by saying I didn't have anything to say to her, and I feel perfect.

Ken's relationship with his children was not easy either. But the difference between Ken and my father is that Ken continues to work for himself, to grow up, and to sincerely try to heal his relationship with his older children.

Finding Happiness

On the beach that day last winter, Ken was overjoyed because he had stopped trying to make something happen.

Eventually he settled in his body, watered the beautiful nature we were in, and began to feel his health rather than analyze it. And he began to truly love himself and brought in love from the group he had that week at sea.

She shared with my husband, after all, that during that week she had done the work she needed to do before she died and therefore could not say she was ready to go home to die. She was fully awake and enjoying every moment of the present. He died proud and had no regrets.

Life is full of surprises and many of us are less likely to live as long as we thought we would. What if we could really realize our inefficiency now, without the need for a death sentence nearby to wake us up?

What if we start saying what we need to say to those we care about (they may not live as long as we think they will)? What if we express unspoken appreciation or heal the wounds we went through - the wounds inflicted and the wounds received?

It is now the best time, no matter how old we are, to do the work we need to do, the work that will eventually bring us to a place of acceptance and self-love. Fortunately, Ken found favor six months before his death. But let's not wait that long!

What if we start right now? What if we do not expect to start living the life we ​​really want? What if we do not expect to find happiness?

If we do that, we may feel overwhelmed and ready to die when we come to our conclusion.

How good would that be?