One year, lessons learned for better or worse

2021 was a rough year for me, if I'm being honest. The pandemic hit me hard, even though it was delayed. When the pandemic first happened in 2020, it wasn't that hard for me. But my lessons were delayed. By 2021, like most people, I was over it and tired. The isolation that I felt finally hit me, and I felt more alone than ever in 2021. People would say that I had my daughter, so I wasn't alone. But there is a difference between the company of a 5-year-old and the company of adults. In 2021, I feel like I lost contact with a lot of people. And it really shut me down. As we end 2021 I am looking back at a tough year, to learn the lessons that I need to learn. And looking forward to a new year, with a positive attitude, clear space and open heart.

To be open, and open up to people.

I spent so much of 2021, alone with just my daughter. When you don't have anyone to really talk to, you get use to it. I got use to not talking to people. As the year closed, I noticed that I won't talk to many people when I was finally around people. My family would ask how I was, and I would just answer fine. I was starting to shut out the world. I know that the world can be a scary place. And being hurt so many times before, the thought of possibly getting hurt again is scary. However, I also know that if I don't open up, then I will stay where I am. You can't get close to anyone if you don't let them in. I would like to be in a relationship again. I would like to have a close group of friends I can really talk to. So I know that I need to open myself up, and put myself out there more.

I need to be focused on now, and not always connected.

In this day and age, we are always connected to our phones. I know that I spend too much time on my phone. Checking on things that don't really matter, just occupying myself to waste time. I want to be more focused on the present, and not on my phone all the time. When I spend even 15 minutes with my daughter, no phone, just focused on her, I see such a big difference. She is so much better, by even just 15 minutes.

Focus on your goals, and spend time each day doing something towards them.

At the beginning of every new year, it seems everyone makes goals. And goals are a great thing. However, so many people make goals and then don't do anything towards those goals. It is important to make goals, to have something to aim towards. But it's also important to actually work towards them as well. For people saying that they don't have time, you can always find time if you really want to. How much time do you spend scrolling on your phone, or watching TV, not doing anything? Even if you spend 20 minutes a day towards a goal, think of everything you can accomplish in such a short amount of time. By doing it a small amount every day, it'll be easier to hit your goal. Let's say you want to start a YouTube channel. One day you can decide on a name and direction. Next, make a list of video ideas. Next day, plan when to shoot them. Those things don't take a lot of time, and in just a few days you can be so much closer to your goals.

No one is coming to make you happy.

I think a lot of times we sit around, waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to come make you happy. Before you know it, years have gone by and you are still in the same place of unhappiness. No one is coming to make you happy. No one is coming to save you. The only person that will save you, is you. So make your own happiness. Make your own dreams come true.

Try whatever you want, and truly live your life.

As I really looked back on the last year, I wondered where the time went, and what I did with it. I realized that I wasn't really living my life. And if I am being honest, haven't really lived for a few years now. I have been just going through the motions of life. I wondered where both my time and money went. But I can't change what has happened. All I can do is change the future.

What I know about myself is that I am a girl that needs a plan. So I have goals for the year, goals for the next 3 months, and daily habits as well. So I have a goal to make money online in the next year. The first three months I have a few ways that I want to start them as step one. I also have goals to save certain amounts of money. Such as money for a vacation that I would like to take my daughter on. I want to really live. I know that it doesn't have to cost a lot of money to do so. I want to make sure that I do things. So that when I look back in a year, I can say that I really lived. If you have been in a depression, I know that it can look really dark right now. But it can get better. No one is going to come save you, no one can. The only person that can save you is you. Just put a little effort in, and you can make things better.

-T