Nourished within the river of sand below me.

Do you notice the rippling currents of the sand?

How every fold is so perfectly created by the sea. A reflection of the mind, waiting for the moon to welcome the tide back up the shore, collecting footprints of lovers and strangers. How the sea so delicately forms patterns for ones mind to get lost within.

The way the clouds are formed, as if they have caught whispers of emotions floating within the wind, trying to find a way of escaping, turning into shapes for nophologists to get lost within. Scattered around so perfectly untamed.

I find myself getting pulled in, closer and closer to dipping into the beaming rays of sunlight. Stretching out my existence calling for her golden warmth to drip upon me. She is so centred within the existence of this photo, tangles of my mind begin to un-knot into the knitted sky above.

Nature collectively holds itself in mystery and magic, I stepped outside of my existence and lived within every particle portrayed in front of me, as I gently wavered back into my body I captured this photo, knowing that I could always trickle back into it.

Faint memories of cold sand edging it’s way through my toes, clinging on to me as if I was a warm safe haven. Everything was calm and still, even my mind.

I took this photo in February last year, it was four pm and everything was soft in stillness, I think back to the person I was during this time, I didn't know who I was back then, but I felt grounded within the sand in that moment. There was a sense of belonging, so I breathed softly into my stomach, allowing myself to feel the blessing of life and exhaled as my toes dug a little further into the sand beneath me. During this time I was experiencing symptoms of depression again. Moments like this would give me a glimpse of what my life would or could be like without the struggles I had with mental health, peaceful and soft, it wasn't so much happiness that I was chasing, rather it was contentment, and satisfaction within a moment, not feeling the need to dream outside of where I was. I didn't want to chase life, I wanted to be involved with it, for so long I had felt as though I was standing on the edge of something, this something being life in all of it's glory, perhaps there was apart of me that was inquisitive about what was so good about feeling alive, It seemed I had lacked the ability that everyone else around me had, I didn't know how to be a apart of life, I felt as though I was always drowning in a storm, and the 'calm' were rapids. This had a lot to do with my negative mindset and the language I navigated through my life with. The clinical depression and PTSD that I suffered with just a few years earlier were also major factors of my unfortunate pattern of self dismantling thoughts. I believed I was always drowning and so that became my reality.

So in this moment I stood seemingly small in comparison to the ripples of sand beneath me with the sea stretched out in the distance, clouds of great beauty curled above me, nature is what reminded me I was alive in that moment, and perhaps for a few seconds I felt the peace that deep down I craved and longed for.

I was in a relationship that no longer gave me happiness but brought on an aching sadness, it was evident that I had very little belief in myself and I was caught in a negative thinking pattern, which put my growth on hold as I became a doormat in this relationship, I was taken for granted and somewhat walked over, in some ways I see this as a blessing as it enabled growth and a much needed new self discovery. I suppose the point of sharing this with you is to go on to explain just how powerful moments with stillness and surrendering in nature truly are for me. My fire within ignites a flame that for a few moments reminds me softly of this beautiful life, I believe I see life differently to most, I see into things and find the things that are hidden amongst what most people are drawn to see, I look to the clouds and not only do I discover shapes, animals and patterns, I see depth and so much magic, I see something that I believe in, regardless of whatever chaos is happening internally or externally there is life above us that holds us and guides us.

I see something bigger than myself, whilst whispers of guidance are spoken to me through soft echoes of wind.

Say a prayer to the sky today, and start the journey of believing in yourself, you deserve to.