Never Say Yes!

For years I have battled with the use of one simple word...

Can you help me out with this project? Yes!

Can you swing by after work and collect the paperwork from our client? Yes!

Can you stay later at work tonight to help us finish our presentation? Yes!

Yes! It's an easy word to say, and for some (myself included), it can be downright tough to say NO! After all if I don't say yes to every request won't I look like I am not a team player? Won't I be described as difficult to work with? Will this person ever agree to help me out if I don't say yes to their request? The answer to all those questions might be YES!

If you are a people pleaser, like me, it's sometimes easier to just say yes than to deal with the dreaded NO. What effect does saying YES to requests at work get me? Stress, anxiousness, and the feeling of being overwhelmed. Not nice feelings to experience, and one that can impact my work performance. I have made a vow to start saying NO a bit more, and I'm learning that saying YES to everything just results in disappointment. Why? Let me share some reasons saying YES can cause you trouble:

You will neglect your work at the sake of helping out others. While it might seem a good idea to be a team player. No matter how much of a team player you are, if you fail to produce your own work, you might find yourself out of a job.

You will overwhelm yourself. Ever feel like there aren't enough hours in the day? Why self inflict more projects and work on yourself? If you find you have some time free to help, by all means do so. If you are time crunched it is better to politely decline, and work on improving that work/life balance.

Instead of great work, you might only produce good work. You say to yourself, "Okay I got this!" As time marches on, you realize that in order to get everything done you will need to sacrifice in order to complete everything. The end result is the person you are helping gets a less than stellar effort, and your own work output suffers.

You feel inadequate when you can't complete everything. You struggle, things fall off, and you don't complete everything. You will end up beating yourself up pretty hard, and for what? You were trying to help, and you end up feeling like you have let everyone down.

Saying no can be hard and uncomfortable. If you are one of those people that loves to help out, that loves to be thought of as a good team player, saying no is something that will rarely pass from your lips. That needs to change in order for you to successfully manage your time during the day. What's scary about saying no to a request for help?

The co-worker will think less of me. Think this through. While your co-worker might not feel thrilled that you turned down their request, they will get over it. Most people at work are under the same time crunch and deadlines, they will understand if your plate is just too full to take on more.

They won't help me out when I need their assistance. There is no code for these things. Chances are your employee code of conduct doesn't say "if you refuse to help, you will be black balled, and never be able to ask for help at a later date." Sure, some co-workers might have memories, and say no when you come calling for their help. But most mature co-workers won't keep score, and if they have the time to help, they will gladly do so.

I won't be viewed as a team player. If you think this through you might be viewed as more of a team player. As we established above, if you take it on, and then produce less then stellar work, chances are your co-worker won't think very highly of you. If you beg off saying you've got too much going on, you are helping the co-worker get a better solution.

Think before you respond to that request. In the long run you will feel better about being more in control of your work. Your co-workers will respect you more as you will help when you have time to put forth the right effort. While for some of us saying YES is almost our default answer, by pausing and carefully considering the request, you gain control of what you will, and will not be spending your time on.

Please don't think I am saying that you should always say no. By all means say yes, if after careful consideration, you can manage the request. If you can't, then be comfortable with saying no. I guarantee that you will feel better, more in control, and will produce better work. Isn't that what we should all have while at work? A feeling of contentment, of being in charge, and of producing work within a reasonable amount of time. Isn't this what we all want? (I hope you answer YES to that question!)