My Visions in Meditation
Come along on my journey. Just watch.
I am bad at meditating. I could never get my mind to be still. Except recently I’ve been needing it to. And I’ve been feeling spiritually sensitive, so I tried again. I don’t know if this is normal, but I had vision accompanied with it. On two separate occasions:
Here’s the first one:
I met a mermaid? Man? With eyes like the universe. The entrance to the black hole is at the bottom of the ocean.
The merman seemed surprised I was there like he too was having an out of body experience. We enjoyed each other’s company swimming together. Mirroring each other. His eyes were beautiful. It’s like I could see the entire universe in them. I wonder how he saw my eyes. When the meditation was coming to an end. We both knew before it did. We did not want to say goodbye, but knew we needed to, and would hopefully cross paths again. I was pushed back to shore by the waves as easily as I was pulled away by them. I barely even noticed getting there until my back touched the sand. I didn’t wait for the audio to finish before I opened my eyes. Now I have insomnia.
When I was first awakening my root chakra, I saw myself meditating by a river. At first as just a spectator. I watched the red energy move through her, from her tailbone up her spine, cradling her neck and head and coming down to her third eye. I felt the warmth of it. I wanted to be like her. At peace. So I sat next to her, and we meditated together. I think I made progress.
The next time it went deeper:
This time I danced as one with the elements.
I started with animals, a wolf running through the woods, but no I wanted to fly. So I became a bird, and I flew high before diving down to capture my pray: a rabbit. Then I was the rabbit as I ran for my life. I escaped into my rabbit hole, I tasted the dirt, felt my heart racing. I was stuck in that form for a moment, unsure what to do. Then I finally felt brave enough to stick my head out. I wanted to fly again. I did, but this time in no form. I flew over a mountain felt the cold of the clouds. I wanted to try to become rain. But something told me I wasn’t ready yet. I fell to the ground trying hard to feel as rain. But I landed in flames. It was easy for me to feel the warmth of being a flame. Then the wind blew, and my sparks carried gently into it. I was the wind. I loved this form, it came to me so easily. I danced and twirled. Whatever was with me couldn’t help but smile too, and commented on how easily I fit that form. I wanted to stay longer. It felt so short, but I needed to move on. The ground came next, the grass and dirt. It was harder for me to slip into this. I didn’t want to leave my wind form. Until I was reminded that the elements were all one anyway. Next thing I knew my body twirled together with the blowing of the wind, the flame of the fire, the calmness of the earth. Last was water. My body pulled and mangled over a lake, or was it an ocean? I felt my body changing. A cocoon surrounded me, then a burst of light. I popped forward, and I had wings in a cacophony of colors. Without hesitation I flew high. Everything was cheering for me. I flew higher, and higher, and higher. I was leaving earth. The next step.
It was dark and cold. Even the stars were scarce. I hesitated. Afraid and unsure of where to go. But something told me to keep moving. So I did. I flew past whatever you would call galaxies and solar systems. To the edge, the edge of the universe, and beyond. It was dark, then it was light. Getting closer. I chased it, and yet it invited me in. Soon I wasn’t flying. I barely even noticed the change. I was walking a long path that led from the universe to, something else. A long beam of light shot up like a door. I walked to it. I knew in there waited... God?
I was so unsure. I didn’t notice I’d stepped in until the door slammed shut behind me. It was all light, but I couldn’t see. It asked me what it was that I wanted to see. It took my face. My father. My mother. My nephew. Trump. Richard. Joe. Nikita. But we all wore veils. It told me I was brave, but that there was more. I was the one putting up the veils. It wouldn’t be easy. I smiled and so did it, though I couldn’t see it. I wanted the challenge.
Then I felt it. The darkness. It came back. It wanted to consume me. No not the darkness. More like the devil, or whatever you would call it. We may have made a deal before? Or maybe it’s just always been there. My cheeks burned as though a hot blade were being dragged across them. To me it felt like a ritual marking being granted. So I took it as that. I felt it on both cheeks, and my forehead. I still feel it. More deeply on my right cheek, and heavily on my forehead. But the light told me I needed to focus and pay attention to only it. Now was it’s time.
I thought it would be hard for me to push the darkness back. But it wasn’t. I couldn’t help, but focus on the light. Then I felt it the darkness backing away.
And then I saw, I don’t know from whose eyes, maybe from the darkness? But I saw my wings start to spring from my back. The light told me to take whichever form I wanted them to be. I was a butterfly before. This time I wanted feathers.
They spread from my back so beautifully. But the right one is a bit stiff. The light said I needed to stretch them out and use them. Then the stiffness would go away.
So I flew, the sky opened up above me in the Room of light and I took off.
I remember it saying to me as I raced from night time to daylight in a laughing voice, but maybe with a hint of seriousness “Don’t fly too close to the sun Icarus.”
My attitude got to me. I am young, but I am also strong. I tried to be defiant and look the light in the face. For real this time. And then I woke up from meditation. I have to wait until next time now. My right wing is still stiff.