My Theory of Irrelativity

Baby steps are immeasurable according to my Theory of Irrelativity. Their measure involves added volume and weight that an ordinary distance cannot carry. Sometimes the very smallest of steps in the right direction are enough to cancel out those giant steps that you feel were taken in less-desirable directions.

And these redeeming baby steps can end up being the biggest steps of your life. Why? Because you are honoring you, your preferences, and your well-being. There is nothing that says I love you to your own self like taking one singular baby step in a new direction.

Every month I like to pick a new affirmation to carry me through the month. Some months these affirmations are inspired by recent events. Other months, they are random or the remnants from a dream that clung to the morning light after I opened my eyes.

My affirmation last month was one that surprised me. It wasn't prompted by any particular incident, writing, or reading. It was as if my Higher Self spoke to me in the plainest of terms in a louder-than-usual voice:

I am brave enough to love myself.

This affirmation left a water mark, as I don't believe that I have ever linked bravery to self-love. In hindsight, I have always associated self-love with selfl-care acts, rewards, success, attitude, generosity, worthiness . . . but not bravery.

As the month passed, I repeated my affirmation every morning and evening. It was a time of great insight. I now have a better understanding of how “being brave” can influence how I honor my preferences, my priorities, and my choices. By being brave, I put myself forward into an unknown that I intuitively trust. And being brave most often means taking baby steps.

These baby steps do not feel like they are taking me in any linear path that can be measured in mileage, hours, or dollar signs. They are taking me in an upward spiral that condenses the journey into a tight helix of experience that I can now see resembles what we call life.

I used to think of my stand-out memories in terms of fence posts. I go through life with my tool belt and my leather gloves . . . stringing wire until I reach the next fence post that snags and marks my memory bank. I pause while I secure the wire and then start walking toward some mysterious and yet-to-identified fence post in the distance that will ultimately make itself known in some splashy manner.

Now? I am no longer thinking in such linear terms. The spiral that this shell of baby steps represents is taking me on a different kind of journey that, rather than leading me away from anything, is leading me upward and closer on a tighter and tighter spiral.

“We are not going in circles, we are going upwards. The path is a spiral; we have already climbed many steps.” — Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

"We have already climbed many steps . . ." So true. It does feel like I have already climbed many steps . . . but when I take a step away from the spiral’s wall and take a peek down the dizzying stairwell, I pause to reflect . . . it does look like there has been some elevation gain – which explains so many things.

No wonder I sometimes get tired, out of breath, and fatigued. Discouraged, disappointed, and overwhelmed. Rather than thinking of life as being on some sort of vertical or horizontal timeline, I am shifting my symbol-delegating thoughts to something that has motion, elevation, and beauty: a spiraling shell. "We are not going in circles, we are going upwards."

My affirmation for this month?

I am brave enough to spiral upward.

"I wanna see you be brave."

And here's a musical shout-out ["Brave" by Sara Bareilles] to all of you brave people out there: "I wanna see you be brave." I get a little teary eyed and a lot inspired every time I watch it, as it illustrates that we can all be brave, especially when we jump in and share in some one else's brave moves.