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My Passion Chose Me, It’s My Duty To Answer Its Call

Playing it small does not serve you or the world

By Jamie JacksonPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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My Passion Chose Me, It’s My Duty To Answer Its Call
Photo by Pea on Unsplash

They say no one has a midlife crisis, just a midlife awakening. I like to think I had the latter, though the two are probably the same anyway.

For 19 years I worked in the corporate world, a rat in a race I didn't want to compete in, before I left the claustrophobic confines of the office once and for all and realised why I was born.

Ok, so the reality is less dramatic than this, more incremental, more drip-feeding the truth into my brain over years, culminating in losing my job because of the pandemic, but it was an event that set me free, where I was finally able to untether myself from a false identity and declare to the world "I am a creative!"

Mark Twain wrote:

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

The day I lost my job I found that why. Coincidentally (these things always are coincidental) I'd just monetised my first ever piece of online writing. It went viral and I made $1,300 in one month. It blew my head off. All these years suckling on the teat of corporatism made me blind to opportunity. Even today, I admit making money on the internet still feels like cheating or magic.

The opposite of bravery isn't cowardice, it's conformity. How many people lead quiet lives of desperation out of fear?

Your passion picks you. It's a calling, and only you can answer it, but people often complain they don't know what their passion is so they don't have to face the fear of doing it.

When I lost my job, I had no choice but to "do it".

My passion is writing, creating videos and vlogs, making podcasts. I even began stand-up comedy. To me, these aren't different interests, they're part of the same wheelhouse of communication, words and authenticity.

It hasn't been easy. My initial $1,300 windfall hasn't been repeated and I've spent the last year struggling through the storm trying to support my wife and four children. I've taken side jobs as a delivery driver and an extra in film and TV; anything to pay the bills.

Anything, except corporate work. I've been tempted. Oh, so tempted. One job I know I can do with my eyes closed, a job I'm qualified for perfectly, keeps popping up in my emails. They pay a whopping £73,000 a year.

The company are clearly struggling to find the right candidate. And here I am, refusing to apply.

The way I see it, you have to show the universe you want it. This is a test, a temptation. Do I believe I can work this out, to write and create content for a living, or am I willing to give up and run back to corporate drudgery? People want to hear about this journey.

Canadian entrepreneur Kevin O'Leary said:

"A salary is just the drug they give you when they want you to give up on your dreams."

A monthly salary comes at a price. That price is your soul. Money can make you comfortable, but it won't fill the chasm inside. Ask yourself why corporate jobs pay so much — it’s because no one gives a hoot about becoming a Chief Operating Officer or a Finance Director. These roles aren’t people’s dreams, they’re empty compromises and corporations have to pay people tens of thousands just to turn up.

This is why fan-directed funding from Memberful isn't just a nice to do, it's a must, a lifeline for the crazy artists and dreamers among us, those who say, "No! It doesn't have to be this way. Life isn't just about getting through it, there is more."

I've wasted years playing it small. Only since 2020 have I begun to dream (and act) big. But money is important. Apparently, the ability to buy food is vital to live. So my family tell me, anyway.

Being funded by fans isn't a way to avoid a "proper job". We all have one option in life, to grow into who we know we can be, to lean into our gift: the thing we do best with the least amount of effort.

For me, that's talking and writing. I love it. No, I need it. I worked with a mindset coach and the top value to come out of our work was my need to authentically connect with others.

I know I'm good at it. I have tens of thousands of hits of videos about coaching, or articles about happiness. I want to make this work then spend a lifetime helping others by bleeding onto the page (or screen) and showing what can be done.

My passion chose me. I was writing stories and scripts (comedy scripts!) when I was 10, I was recording "radio" shows on an analogue tape recorder when I was 12, I performed in bands for years and the thing I loved best was talking to the crowd in between songs.

Your passion is trying to speak to you, every day. It's your truth. It will set you free. More than that, it will set other people free.

As Marianne Williamson wrote:

"Our playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you... as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I'm leading by example for my children, showing them life doesn't have to be a binary choice between money or creativity... money or happiness.

I haven't worked it all out yet, though I'm still creating; making vlogs, writing articles, recording podcasts, performing comedy to 12 people on a rainy Tuesday in the back room of a pub, sick with nerves. But I do it because, if I'm honest, I have no other choice.

Listen to your passion. Do what you find yourself doing. Be authentic. You can slay your dreams for convenience but I promise they will come back jangling the keys to your cell door over and over until you let them lead you to freedom.

self help
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About the Creator

Jamie Jackson

Between two skies and towards the night.

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