My First 25 Cents

I have been writing since high school, mostly intermittently through life experiences. My hometown best friend and I were in a creative writing class together growing up, and we have both branched out to writing in our own ways and avenues. I have opened numerous blog accounts through Weebly and Wix and almost WordPress, to merely exist just for me. A place that I can create a story, mostly about my life, but something that I could share if I wanted to. Although I have times of my life and stories wrapped into those blogs, I tend to get stuck because I have so many experiences to tell and I feel the need to share them in chronological order, almost like an archive. Then, time passes, details get forgotten and the desire to write turns into stress. On the other hand, I have never really had the desire to share my writing on platforms. I never wanted to open myself up to critique and be seen in a more vulnerable way from others who I don't know or who I am not close to.

Also, I am not sure how much school actually shapes us, but when it came to standardized testing, I never excelled at anything. My best subject was writing and I was still measured at a very mediocre level if not below that. That same friend often struggles with the opposite. Her grammatic structuring is perfection, but with perfection comes a perfectionist, thus she has a hard time posting anything that doesn't meet her very high standards.

This brings us here to Vocal! That same friend switched her blog over to Vocal a little over a year ago. She posted her way through 2020, giving her an outlet in such uncertain times. I was supportive, created an account to of course listen and read all of her pieces and make sure I added that little heart at the bottom of each article; but I NEVER considered I too would join her in sharing any of my work.

That same year she was writing herself through 2020, I was was also writing, but more so poetry. My first poem I had wrote since high school, was two days before my break up with a guy who I thought was my forever. I was proud of this piece, as it is posted on my page under "Lost myself by Loving You". From there I found a knack of expressing my heartbreak through words and rhyming. Writing poetry was a main source of what helped me process that heartbreak as well as see my progress in writing and overall growth. These pieces are very personal to me, but since I have processed them, I no longer feel attached to words on those pages. One nights a group of my friends came over for a bon fire at my house and I read all the poems from the first one to the last. At that time, I had about 50 pages on a google doc versus the 150 plus I have now written. Originally my intent was just read it to them so they understood how I was feeling, as I tend to not know how to separate myself from my emotions or share them at all.

Their reaction was so sincere and they insisted me to post my work as it resonated with them and even made a few of them cry. This was late summer of 2020. I have been writing and reading it to friends and family ever since, and have even shared a few poems over Facebook. Otherwise they sit accumulating into a very long Google Doc previewed only by me. Every so often I go through them and reread them to acknowledge my growth. The other night I was reading one of the poems I wrote to the person that it was about and he reiterated that I should post it, if not by me, then anonymously. Though I was hesitant to join, I don't believe in putting out my work and hiding behind a name, as I have worked so hard to be 100 percent authentically myself and that includes all my experiences. I was also on the phone with my friend that uses Vocal and we were talking about the stats and how she has actually one a contest and made her money back in the monthly subscription. Paying for something that isn't a necessity is also something that is hard for me, but that's another story. As for her she has been in a mental writing rut the last few months. I suggested to her the idea that each month we write a story based off the same prompt to help us grow in our writing, get our moneys worth of this platforms cost and to grow as people and in our friendship.

She agreed and I took the financial plunge and creative courage to post my work for anyone to see. That first night I accessed it, I spent several hours uploading all my share worthy poems on this platform. Meaning thus forward, I am writing in the present time and not back tracking on emotions I am no longer emotionally attached too.

I have been on this platform for less then three days, short enough that my free trial hasn't even expired yet. In that time, I have seen in my stats, that 42 people have read my work. Now whether they just skimmed it or read a portion of it, they open it, they saw interest in something I wrote. A small victory for most, a large accomplishment for me. I have made 25 cents from people reading my work off here and I feel immensely proud of myself for putting my work out there. I am excited to follow the prompts and challenges through this platform and I have never felt more inspired to write then I do now!