Love Yourself

Going through other entries, I found incredibly inspiring stories of mothers, sisters, mentors, and some celebrities here and there. It was extremely inspiring.

But this is not that.

Of course my mom has been a huge inspiration to me always, that goes without saying. She’s the strongest woman I know in every sense of the word. And of course there’s women in history that influence the things I do. In fact, I’m pretty sure every woman has a list of hundreds of women that inspire them, shape them, and influence them in many ways. But this time around I didn’t feel like writing about them.

This time around I felt like writing about myself.

Hold your judgement for a second and hear me out. I think it’s part of our culture that women don’t often praise themselves or talk about their accomplishments. When men do it we applaud them and their accomplishments and label them as confident, so why’s it so different for us? We’re taught to “love ourselves” and yet when we talk about how good we’re doing or our successes we’re labeled as self-centered, selfish, or even as showing-off (and in extreme cases we’re even labeled as a b!%*#). So we stop doing it. We keep our accomplishments to ourselves and carry on. We hope someday someone will notice and give us the credit we deserve, but in reality, it’s rarely acknowledged. My mom has accomplished hundreds of things that I would’ve never known about if I hadn’t specifically asked about it or found pictures and articles about it. And that’s just my mom, how many women out there keep their accomplishments to themselves? How many women do extraordinary things worthy of applause and yet stay silent? Women deserve the right to share their successes and be applauded like men do. We deserve the right to share the cool things we’ve done without being considered a show off. And we deserve the right to share our successes and be called confident instead of selfish.

And this isn’t just a cultural thing to blame on men, women are also part of the problem. How many inspirational women in history have been bashed by other women? How many have been told to stick to the status quo by jealous women everywhere? And we’re all guilty of it. “She looks terrible in that dress,” “She’s not qualified to do that kind of work,” “Her business will never take off the ground.” We’ve all said things like this about other women at one point or another, we critique others for any reason we can think of. And this has to stop. This year I made a resolution to be less judgmental of other women and support them in any way, and so far it’s been amazing. I’ve made friends with people I would’ve otherwise never talked to, I’ve helped small women owned businesses, old friendships have gotten better, and when you give out love you get love back.

So unless we women can change and start sharing our accomplishments unapologetically and supporting each other, nothing will ever change. And as someone who might one day have a daughter, I hope to create a world where that is the case.

So today, in spirit of “loving thyself,” I’d like to do just that.

I know it sounds pretty conceded to say that I ‘inspire and motivate myself,’ but I want to at least acknowledge that where I’ve come from and where I am now deserves at least a pat on the back.

I’m a daughter of immigrants who worked their ass off to get us here so we could have a good life. I came knowing only introductory English, and now speak and write English better than a lot of my colleagues (I’m even a published author, more on that later). I was bullied my entire time at school for my looks, culture, interests, whatever, you name it I was bullied for it. And that made me the strong person I am today. I escaped an abusive relationship and have since found someone who actually loves me. I was the first one to go to college in the states and yet managed to graduate magna cum laude with an honors degree with a double major in psychology and art and a minor in philosophy. My college thesis for psychology got published in the Journal of Psychology and Clinical Psychiatry, making me a published author. I got accepted into multiple grad schools for psychology, after which I decided to quit psychology and pursue my true passion: art. I made activist art that has been in gallery exhibitions and has sold for a good amount of money. I worked my a$$ off for a job as an art director in a field I was new to and now have awards and a salary that lets me live comfortably. I work full time and yet I’m studying to get my master’s degree in philosophy on my free time. I recently started a small business and it has been growing and receiving a lot of love from the community. And I consistently get to be creative and do the things I love on a daily basis. And all of that, makes me proud.

Seeing where I’ve come from and the person I’ve become inspires me to continue pursuing my passions and see how far I can get. I’ve done so much with just the love and support of my family that that keeps me motivated to work hard and become a better person tomorrow than I was yesterday. My mom and other women in history inspire me on the daily, but there’s nothing as inspiring as seeing just have far you’ve come. Not others, but you. And no one else can give you that.

So yes, I think it’s important to have women who inspire you. But as I hope I’ve explained throughout this piece, I think it’s equally important to see yourself as an inspiration too. And as women, the best we can do is share our successes and support each other. Hopefully then we can all see each other as a source of inspiration.