Love Thyself and Prosper

Many a time do we hear "love yourself" or "you are worthy of love" or similar suggestions to help us achieve a sense of stability and joy in our lives. But what does that really mean? Do we actually know how to do that? What does loving oneself actually look like? I've often spoken to people who are absolutely sure they love themselves to the fullest. They indulge in good food, buy nice clothes, have holidays, spend money on their looks etc. But looking from the outside it is more than obvious they are often trying to mask how they really feel on the inside.

So how do you actually love yourself? My definition is: do things and make decisions that will help you grow. As simple as that. Take care of your needs not only of your wants. This entails sometimes doing things you really don't want to like choosing a healthy meal over a quick fast food snack. Or letting yourself feel instead of trying to push your feelings aside and trying to look all fine and dandy in order to fit in. Below are some suggestions to help you feel and look your best and to finally start radiating your true beautiful self.

Start your day well

Start your mornings by doing things that are calming, relaxing, inspiring. This may mean putting on some relaxing music, journaling, stretching, or even just cuddling with your cat, significant other or anything that is warm and fluffy. Try if you can, to let yourself just be in the morning. No emails, no social media, no news, no magazines, no tasks. Just you and your thoughts, your surroundings, your morning routine. Perhaps you can listen to something inspiring to get you going in the right direction. Just let it be soft and uplifting rather than aggressive and pushy. I know it might be cliche, but see if you can find things you're grateful for. Perhaps your soft bed, your tea pot, the flowers on your window sill, sunshine. Anything. This will help you to bring your attention towards having, not lacking. You will bring a sense of abundance into your day and your subconscious thoughts might come along.

Nourish your body, not your self

Often, we eat to fill an emotional hole. We eat to feel better. We eat the foods that have sugar or stimulants, food that is full of artificial flavoring ... We have been taught from early infancy that food is a source of comfort. Our needs were often muffled by food. Food was often a reward, especially sweets. And for some of us this is still the only way we know how to make ourselves feel worthy. Our caretakers didn't know better. But we can know how to nourish our bodies properly and nourish our souls adequately. Loving yourself can start by loving your body. We wouldn't put the wrong kind of petrol in our car, so why put the wrong kind of food in our bodies? The same goes for your skin. What you put on your skin gets absorbed and is the same as being eaten. This goes for creams, make up, soap, masks ... Choose organic and natural products whenever you can.

Start by being aware of how you feel after eat specific foods. Do you feel light, full of energy, satisfied and yet relaxed? Then this is the way to go. Do you feel sleepy, agitated, and does your stomach feel heavy? Then maybe rethink your choice next time. Start by observing what and how you eat, nothing else. It will bring you far.

Speak kindly about and to yourself

Usually, we think what we say about ourselves doesn't matter. "What an idiot" is a frequent exclamation that may come out of our mouth for making but a small mistake. It does matter how you speak about yourself. As much as it does how you speak about others. The body knows no difference whether it is you who's saying these things or someone else. Again, just observe and try to remedy an unkind sentence you direct towards yourself with another one that is kinder, gentler, that perhaps is not in accord with the action, but that still loves who you are.

When you see your reflection, smile at yourself.

Just that. No matter what your day is like.

Find a way to stop and feel

When stressed, find a way to stop your thoughts and just listen to the sounds outside. It may be helpful for you to take deep, slow breaths or to listen to your heartbeat. Just try to avoid things like running, alcohol or drugs, listening to loud music or calling someone to complain. Stop and feel first. Then call maybe. But feeling is healing as they say. And it's true. Even when you're envious of someone else's attributes or successes, feeling the envy is far better for you than trying to imitate them and definitely better that slandering. Envy can be a great motivator if turned towards creating a newer, better version of what you would like to be. Feeling emotions lets them leave your body and mind. It frees them from being trapped inside your head. It lets them transform you. They may hurt sometimes, but usually more when they're attached to a certain story. Just let them be, acknowledge them and they will show you the next step.

Look for people that feel good, not just look good

First, acknowledge how you feel in the presence of certain people. Can you be yourself? Do you have anything in common? Do you perhaps feel some sort of unease that you can't put your finger on? Stay present with yourself first, before you try to be likable. Acknowledge how you feel about them first before wondering how they are feeling about you. Instead of thinking you need do be like them, try to find out how you would like to feel and go towards that. It is much easier to find people you can be yourself around than trying to change who you are in order to fit in. Even if it sometimes doesn't seem that way or might even be scary.

Choose clothes by the way they make you feel

Do they make you feel like you ought to be someone you're not or do they make you feel like they are a reflection of what you have always wanted to be? Do you smile when you see yourself in that outfit of does it make you criticize your body for not being the way it is supposed to be? Choose clothes that make you feel good wearing them and that make you feel good looking at yourself wearing them.

And finally:

Be aware of how you are breathing

Your breathing shows a lot about how you're feeling. Is your breath shallow, is it short and sobby? Are you puffing air out angrily? Breathing is much more important that people think. It cleans your lungs, oxygenates your cells and has an enormous effect on your nervous system. Try to take a minute out of every few hours to take a look at your breathing. And try to your best abilities to lengthen the outer breath. Try to get as much air into your lungs as possible and then let it ease out slowly. A minute or so and then get on with the rest of your activities. This exercise will eventually bring you towards being aware of the way you breathe and having the capacity to calm yourself.

You deserve love and love starts in you. If you ever want to look and feel the absolute best you have ever done, self love is 100 % guaranteed to bring you there.