Love, and Life

I have been in love more times then I can count. I mean that figuratively of course. I fall in love fast and I fall in love hard. Some days I hate that I am this way always falling for a smile or an attitude or even the way a man carries himself. Other days I am so grateful that I can feel anything at all. I've met people who claim they can not love at all. This idea bothers me because these people preach love the most. If there really is a metaphorical off and on switch why did they turn it off? Do they know its off? Can anyone turn it back on?

I'm no psychologist I am no love expert or astrologist I'm just someone who has lived and loved. So please do not read this if your looking for professional help on love. After all I am currently single and very lonely, but I am still very much in love and I'm finding new love all the time.

First thing I learned these past two years is, have love for yourself. I know you hear and see this all the time. Even I slightly roll my eyes when seeing Posts about it on Facebook or get advice from "strangers on messenger." It can be tiring told your not loving right because you don't love yourself. What those people forget about is that only you can love you and only you know how to love you. So how can they say you don't? So the biggest question to ask yourself is Do I love myself? Hell I might even ask it to the next person I'm interested in. Just ask straight up, "Hey do you love yourself?" I just hope I don't get an answer like, "ya I do three times a day."

Me I do very simple things to love myself. I buy a bottle of wine and paint. I do face masks on occasion. I do crazy girly stuff when no one else is around. Even men can do bubble baths and soaking their feet. You dont just have to love your physical appearance. I take time to nurture and love my less seen traits. Whatever it is you've admired about yourself or others have admired about you love it! Take 5 minutes and nurture it. I do crosswords and jigsaw puzzles. I love that I have a capacity for learning useless facts. I'll turn on a TV show and say that looks interesting and I look it up and read about it. I enjoy learning how to do things. I go to the library often for how to books.

Another way to love yourself. Sticky notes on your mirrors saying positive things. I know I know, "sounds like something my therapist would say," or "I tried this already it doesn't work." Then shhhh cause that wasn't for you. Think outside of the box then, I had to. I found something specifically catered to loving myself everyday. I got a bunch of index cards they had 1. my favorite quote for the day. 2. a song for the day. 3. something I love about myself. That built me up for years!! I also made a dream board and hung it on my wall for me to see everyday. I also make a yearly goal board. I know some of you say none of this has anything to do with loving myself. Well I disagree how can you not love the person you are today, with wanting to love a better you tomorrow???

Second thing I learned is give everyone your trust even strangers. I don't know if it was different for boys but growing up as a female I was warned about a lot of different situations. I was told about predators and stalkers and I was even taught to fear telephone poles. Fears not the only thing that can shut down trust though. You could have also been hurt in the past. That matters yes, but you'd be letting it control your life if you never trust any person again. Even if it is fear that prevents you from trusting its just closing off all these opportunities for you and maybe even for others. I smile at people all the time I help anyone when I can even if it's just holding open a door. If your asking what that has to do with love well that is love. Showing kindness to others is an act of love. Now I am not saying to put yourself in a dangerous situation. If someone is creeping you out (and not just cause their possibly ugly) your mind is sending you that signal for a reason. Please listen to it and get out of there. Really though Look at everyone as if their intentions are good, treat everyone as if they are good. Life will be a lot easier. Finding love and keeping love will be A LOT EASIER.

If someone who says they have changed or want to change do not deny that they want to. Once again this rule is with in reason and you don't have to keep a toxic person in your life. But never tell someone they can't or will never change. You see those posts and people always say people never change. This is a lie. This is the biggest lie in the world. It literally crushes me seeing and hearing this. People do change constantly if its as simple as liking something to not liking it anymore. It could also be something as big as having no anger management skills to having some. You don't have to let someone who has hurt you back in cause they say they've changed. But please never tell them you don't believe them. That's the worst possible set back for anyone. Its also called hating on someone.

A wise person once said, "Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath." What I tell people all the time is, "Forgive but never forget." Just breathe and let it go. I let it go and I even give people the chance to prove they've changed even if they prove me wrong again and again. I believe I owe them as a person who has changed the chance to prove that they're capable of the same.

Seeing as how it's getting late I will be turning in but I want to continue this in segments maybe and eventually turn some of my love interests into a story for you all to enjoy. Have a good night all.