Lost Time Is Never Found Again

One of the most happiest and memorable days of my life was the day my daughter was born, back in February 2017. Although she gave us a bit of a surprise in entering the world two months earlier than we we had expected, those memories of her birth, and the next few weeks proceeding, will live in my mind forever. As a premature baby, she was obviously required to enter straight into the intensive care unit, although that was very brief, as she would then be transferred into special care after just two days. I'll always cherish those memories of seeing her in her little fishbowl crib, with a tube attached to her nose, her little smurf hat on, and then having the wonderful opportunity of being able to nurse her gently against my chest in the ward, on several occasions. She looked so cute, innocent, and peaceful. Even though there were around 6 or so weeks of going back and forward from home to the hospital each day, it never really bothered me. I was just grateful to all the staff at the two hospitals in which she spent her time in, as they cared for her incredibly well. It's hard to believe that it's already been 4 years since her birth and her hospital stint, and now she's growing up so fast. She doesn't stop talking and there's barely a moment I have in peace, but I love her with all my heart, and she is my world. At that time, back in 2017, I was still working at my full time job at a financial institution, hating every minute of it. I was just so sick and tired of getting up at the crack of dawn, battling through peak hour traffic, turning up to a workplace that was always understaffed, working for a company in which they didn't truly care for, or truly value, their employees, but instead set ridiculous sales expectations for them, and I was fed up with having to work back overtime each night, because I wasn't allocated appropriate time during the day to get the actions for my customers completed. I hated my job, yet for just over 10 years, I stayed there for the sake of my paycheck. I was educated to believe that I simply had to have a job, and there were no other legal options for income generation.

So what relevance has my job at the time, and my hatred towards it, got to do with my daughter? Well, I was initially granted 4 weeks paternity leave, which I opted to take only a couple of weeks after she was born, so I could freely go to and from the hospital to check on her progress, along with receiving some handy parenting advice from the nurses at the hospital. That was great, but the time certainly went by quickly. Once we finally got her home, she wasn't exactly the greatest sleeper, in fact, she was the total opposite. My wife ended up being awake as late as 5am on so many occasions, having to nurse our daughter to sleep out on the recliner, as it seemed to be the only method of getting her to sleep. That even after my 2am session of rocking her up and down the hallway had her falling asleep worked, up until the moment I stopped. My wife and I ended up taking her to a mother/baby unit at a local hospital, in a bid to sort out her sleeping issues, but my wife also opted to actually take a rest from the parental duties, by returning back to work herself for a few weeks. It was then I was granted an additional 8 weeks of paternity leave from my work, and this was when I started to understand what's truly most important in life. When I returned to work, after this second period of paternity leave, I was so unhappy, miserable, and depressed, at my job, to the point I even found myself in tears several times in the rest rooms. It started to sink in that I was missing out on the privilege of watching my daughter grow up, talk for the first time, crawl for the first time, walk for the first time, and getting to enjoy some time playing on the ground with her. I was spending 5 days of my week working my butt off, whilst only getting to see my daughter for maybe 2 hours a day, if I was lucky.

With the depression my job was causing me, combined with the unhappiness of barely getting to see my daughter, I refused to accept that's how life should be. What was I to do though? I was trapped, because I couldn't exactly quit my job and not be earning an income. Did I just have to suck it up and miss out watching my child grow up, and all those memorable moments? Most parents are in, or have undoubtedly have been in, a similar situation. I know we have to make sacrifices in life, and we need to earn a living, but it's a fact that one of the biggest regrets that people have in life, when on their death bed, is that they wished they had have spent less time at work, and more time with those they love. Easier said than done, hey? Not really. The truth is, people don't think smart enough. Either that, or people were never educated appropriately in school around other legal forms of income generation outside of a corporate job, which is basically everybody. The simple fact is, we are not educated about business ownership/entrepreneurship in school, because the education system, driven by the government, wants us to progress to university, and then find a job, eliminating any confidence, knowledge, or skill, we could possibly have around business management. Then there are those who have started a business in the past, yet failed, but have ultimately gone on to generate fear amongst society, with the myth that all businesses fail, even though the truth is that businesses don't fail, it's just the people who run them who fail. What it has meant though is that the majority of people are now fearful of starting a business because they believe it will be destined to fail, or they don't believe they have the skill and knowledge to do so. The result, they remain in a corporate job, which means they must sacrifice time with their children. They believe there is no other option but to place their children in day care, or maybe leave them with the grandparents, or devise some other care arrangement.

I ended up quitting my job, back in September 2017, much to the disgust of many of my loved ones. For me, there were three more important things in life than a job and money, them being my happiness, my health, and my family. I wasn't going to allow what society has created as being normal and acceptable, to deny me the opportunity to watch my child grow up, or deny me the right to happiness and a healthy mentality. Obviously, I couldn't just quit my job and not have a source of income, so I started my own business, in which I could work from home. Now I'm not going to sit here and have people believe it was easy as pie, that there was no hard work involved, that the business was making profit immediately, and everything was hunky dory. It was damn hard work, and continues to be damn hard work. Making profit is always about the amount of work you put, but it's also about efficiency, adaptability and creativity. I had to suffer through a couple of years of severe financial hardship, I had to sell assets, and I had to make several sacrifices, but I'm still alive, I have a roof over my head, and I've still got food on the table. Building and growing a business takes time, and not every business can be created from home, but we do live in a innovative and technologically advanced world where there are a plethora of working options. It's about seeking those options, or creating one of your own. The best thing about starting my business is that it has allowed me the flexibility to spend time with my daughter, that most parents would only dream about having with their own children. I had the blessing of hearing my daughter talk for the first time, I watched her crawl for the first time, I watched her walk for the first time, and I have managed to spend a great deal of time with her, through actually being there throughout her early childhood. My daughter will always be more important to me than a job or money ever will. I made her my priority, along with my health and happiness, something that more people need to do themselves.

Time is something we can never get back, yet money and work will always be there. If we are spending our time dedicated to our job, in exchange for missing out on precious time with our children, that's lost time, and lost time is never found again. Yes, we need to make a living, and we need to be generating an income, or otherwise we can be spending all the time we want with our children, yet not be able to feed them, or provide them with shelter and clothing. Again, that's where it's about being smart and creative. I suppose you have to ask yourself the question, are you going to be one of those people who will reach your senior years, or even be on your death bed, and hold regret in your heart about missing out on all the opportunities you had to spend more time with your children, all because of work? By all means work, but never excessively. Life is about balance and flexibility. The solution is by no means an easy one, but it is possible. You need to indeed be creative, but you also need to work damn hard in the time you allocate for work. Anything is possible when we put our minds to it though. Life is too short to live being unhappy. Prioritize the things that really matter in life, like your happiness, your goals, your health, and your family. Don't let others tell you that you must have a job, because that's just society talking. Do something different, take a risk, and try starting your own business. Whether it's a concept of your own, or whether you discover the perfect opportunity online, there are numerous legal money making options out there, you just need to commit yourself to engaging yourself in discovering one. The best advice around business, is to create something from what you are passionate about, because that's when you can even make working feel more like a hobby. Put yourself first, take the opportunity to be spending more time with your children while you can, and create some long lasting memories. Use the time, not lose the time!

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