Limited to Limitless

It is not anyone else's responsibility to stand up for you. Period(t). The world is not a fair place and I have a hard time believing that it will become one anytime soon. But I do believe in the future.

When I was 3 years old, I decided that my birth mother was a “bad mom” and I ran away from home. Most people think that you don't truly remember events at that age, so let me explain to you why I do.

After I ran away I was asked by a police officer if I wanted to get ice cream. She asked me what my favorite flavor was, and I told her vanilla. I am not sure why, but I never got the ice cream that night. I've held a grudge ever since, and if you saw the way I eat a pint of Vanilla Bean and followed me on Instagram you'd believe me. Memory is best attached with emotion, and in this case my emotion is my ice cream grudge. Yes it is possible that the ice cream parlor was closed. I stand by my grudge.

Prior to 3 years old was various experiences of abuse. Once I was in foster care, at 5 years old, I had the opportunity to tell a Judge how I felt. The question was simple, but asked a few times. "Do you love your mom?" Each time, I would answer "No."

I did get to see my birth mother one last time, where I vividly remember her crying in a room that had a few different mirrors hanging on the walls. One of which I could see myself in as she was hugging me. I asked my mom why she was crying, and she stated "You told them that you don't love me anymore".

I was for sure smart enough to tell a judge how I felt, but not yet smart enough to know how to put two and two together. I remember looking in that same mirror with a straight face as she was crying, not really understanding that the termination of her parental rights would follow that hug and not understanding the traumatic impact it would have on the next 20 years my life to come.

This information is important because throughout that last 20 years, I have let the mental toll of these obstacles, take complete charge of my life and my outlook of myself. Mainly, I’ve let people with limited mindsets make me feel like I’m not worth the investment in both my personal and professional development.

EVERYONE has a traumatic story. It does not matter where you are from, what the color of your skin is, or what your sexual orientation you identify with. We all have a story. Currently, people will still treat you unfairly no matter how far we think society has come. Because of that, we all formulate reasons on why we should quit inside of a world that we expect to be better, but continues to fail us.

But it does matter that you share who you are and allow yourself to showcase to the world and your workplace why YOUR growth is worth investing in. When you share your story, you open a world of possibilities, gain a support system, and build a kind of courage that no one has seen yet. We are currently living in a world where we wait patiently for the opportunities that will never come because we feel like we are deserving of them without showcasing why.

The ones who do put in the work sometimes feel under valued when they are only working to impress the ones in charge of their growth. Which is transparently see-through. I like to call these people “Schmoozers”. Schmoozers are often chosen for growth, but eventually show their true intentions.

No one, including yourself, is going to see your true potential and invest in your growth until you start working to impress yourself, set aside excuses, and beat your own best.

Someone recently told me that they were tired of unqualified people being chosen for positions based on their diversity status. This bias has been demonstrated to me in my previous career field when a white man told me that I would get a position that I applied for because I was Black.

The only difference in this situation was that I was highly qualified for the position and simply just didn’t get it. That is a huge part of life, but for the months to follow I was made to feel that the only qualification I had in my workplace was being Black. And at that time, being Black wasn’t even good enough though it was made clear that it just might be.

So to the employers making the hiring decisions: Make sure you are giving diverse individuals opportunities to shadow and gain new learnings in the workplace under someone you would consider highly qualified. DO NOT pick someone for a position because of their diversity status. Or tell them they they’ve got a position locked in because of that, and not because of the work they’ve put in. Show them that in your company, they are more than capable of growing to the heights that they envision for themselves. This will empower those diverse individuals to become more involved in the workplace, and also provide some healthy competition to their peers who would have never seen them coming.

To the people working on their growth: Find your passion and work your ass off to achieve your vision. If you feel like you are discriminated against no matter who you are, say something. If nothing chances, find better for yourself. If you have privilege, advocate for the ones who don’t. If nothing changes, FIND BETTER.

Do not let the limited keep you from living a limitless life.