Learning To Draw My Second Chance

When I was a child, I was an idealist and often daydreamed of becoming a famous artist. I wanted to make extraordinary art. By the age of 6, I could draw rabbits, and my grade school teachers were swooning over me with giving me platitudes, saying that I would be a truly successful artist one day. I, however, thought from Kentucky? Maybe at yard sales drawing dogs or grannies. Delapatated Barnes became a thing for me. I was going to be famous for the nontraditional approach.

I, however, found I had bitten off more than I could chew my overly ambitious idea of fame and glory. Life then got in the way, and I'm sure you know that life has a way of happening on its terms. I suffered at the hands of those terms multiple times like so many others. My fame and glory had to wait. That is when I found myself amid an authentic life crisis. I lost my way; I lost everything, for that matter. I found myself feeling bombarded from every corner.

At my job, I hated customers I hated, and sometimes they hated me. I was a busy man closing home loans for large banks and small banks, but at the same time, I should be happy? I am making excellent money. I have a partner; we live like a married couple in a time before gay marriage was not acceptable. Shouldn't I be thrilled right now? I even got to tell Attorney to sit down and confiscated checks before he walked out the door with the check. Who wouldn't love that, right?

Then the Mortgage crash happened. I found myself in a whole other world swamped in self-pity, swarmed with one problem after the other. Bill collectors were looming over my shoulder, my partner constantly angry with me, wanting me to do more and more. I faced devastation and loss then my world collapsed.

I found myself moving, cleaning up my life, and having to rethink the whole "What Now" plan. Also, the first moment I heard the words, "If you are not working with your inspiration, you will face your desperation." There was my life in a nutshell. So then, what was I truly seeking? I pondered for hours on end.

Nothing came to mind. I toiled (I had forgotten my artistic ability and put it on the back burner.) I sat for what seemed like months. I heard videos "Find your inspiration here!" I sat bewildered. I have no talents that are worth pursuing. I felt futile, and then I sat down and began to doodle. A friend of mine said, "Why don't you draw anymore? You use to draw all the time." I sat and still felt it was a lost cause, but I'll do anything right now to change the subject in my head.

I found time passing by in a flash. I was strangely happy again. People around me started to notice me smiling more. I began to feel like I was accomplishing something. It was not a big moneymaker, but it also was not an utterly broken endeavor. I started to see others coming to join me on my journey because of my "Gift," as they called it. I loved this attention, and people around me began to respect me more. Some rushed to greet me in public that was highly unusual.

I then started to push myself. Learning everything I could about it, bringing other's opinions into my artwork, asking friends (that were very reluctant, I should add fear of offending me. I had to teach them I wanted and welcomed their critiques.) Drawing people for free and gifting it to them for the experience.

That's when I threw myself into learning how to focus my attention on artwork. I cut up so many pictures my friends were in horror, and my mother shouted "What are you doing!" as she confiscated my scissors and said "No!" You cannot cut up any more of your artworks! That's when I knew I was onto something. She never intervened before. Other people like her were speaking up, saying, "Your work is awesome!" This time I was ready to listen.

I knew then to slow down and pay close attention to each move, and you know the fun part about it wasn't a painful thing. I gradually became faster with each drawing. I challenged myself with each artwork, and I noticed more people were paying me to draw them now. I garnered the attention of famous people, and now today, I have a following of thousands of people, and I have drawn some famous people. Some have remained friends. Others have moved on, but I do love my famous awesome friends. They are as bizarre and quirky as I am. However, the fact remains that I still love to draw, and I still have to practice focusing on drawing and now writing.

I have learned to gradually start where I left off, albeit tragic events that forced me to rethink where I was in life. I found myself expanding progressively on any topic that inspired me randomly at first. Now, I am writing another one of my dreams come true, exploring a writing contest about what inspires me. How awesome is that? Mother still hides the scissors when I start any project.

So my most robust advice is when you are facing adversity, stop and ask yourself, "Have I truly been following what inspires me?" Because if you have, then you are indeed a happy, lucky person. If not, then I am so sorry. May you find your true path quickly. I can assure you the joy you will see will be astounding when you find that thing that makes your heart sing. Maybe times of adversity are meant to be there to provoke us to rethink where we are?