Lead by Example

Inner Peace. Those two words together seem unreachable at times. In today’s world that is so fast paced and unforgiving we forget to stop and smell the roses. So many times when we could be doing something that brings us inner peace we find ourselves scrolling through our devices, looking at other peoples lives. I long for the days of a more simplistic lifestyle but it seems that if you are not connected you cannot thrive in today’s society. At least that is how the system is made to make you feel.

As a child I remember climbing the apple trees in my parents yard with my bow and arrow. Shooting apples out of the tree. As a child I remember running through the yard barefoot without a care in the world because as a child we are in touch with the world in a different way. There are no bills to pay or pragmatic issues we must deal with. Or at least that is how a child’s life should be. I feel this is where the phrase was coined “ignorance is bliss” because as a child we don’t fully understand the negative energies in the world. Most children don’t have to strive for inner peace, instead, children are the keepers of peace. Have you ever watched a child sleep and thought to yourself, “I wish I could sleep that hard.” Or watched them play and wished you had their energy? They have not been taught to worry and fret. They have not been taught to care about all the other things in the world.

Children don’t need money to be happy, that is taught. Children do not care about your weight, they do not care about your color. They do not care about your sexuality. They do not care about your appearance. What children notice most is your personality, your kindness, your inner peace, they care about themselves. They are sponges that absorb the world around them with wide open eyes. These miraculous little beings are taught by adults to become who they are and in a world so fast paced where we can’t stop to look at a bug or smell the flowers, how do we teach them to keep their peace?

July 4, 2021 was the first time I had ever caught fireflies. I am 27 years old. I was out in the yard chasing down little glowing green butted bugs and helping my five year old place them in a jar. We did this for hours. I found myself slowing down, laughing, and then crying over the idea that hopefully for her that would be a forever memory. I was at peace knowing that I was allowing my inner child out and knowing that I was allowing her to flourish as a child. A light bulb went off that evening for me to something I already knew but didn’t think of in such a way before. We teach our children through play, through example, and through love. We help them keep their inner peace by our actions.

As a teenager (driving age) I remember rolling all my windows down, turning my stereo as loud as it could go and driving. Just driving. My favorite time of day to do so was when the sun was setting. I could smell the lake, and hear the bugs. I took a deep breath and felt my worries wash away. At night there need be no music, just laying down in the grass looking up at the stars was enough because truly there are so much bigger things out there than us. I still enjoy these things but they seem to happen far less now that I am an adult. My life has been filled with diapers, financial worries, scrolling through that device that we should just put down. I’ve let other people influence my happiness and take my inner peace and it is truly unfortunate.

I work to regain that inner peace in any way that I can. There are so many hobbies and tactics we can use in order to get there. For some it is a good book, or a bubble bath. Others like to shoot firearms, or tinker with mechanics. Sometimes just the smell of a candle or campfire can bring us peace. I find peace in many of my daily activities such as watching my children play rambunctiously or smelling that sweet baby smell. But what happens when my children are asleep at night? For me I’ve realized my peace comes from allowing my creativity to spark.

For me peace comes from within when I am able to take all my feelings and worries and brush them away on a canvas or piece of paper. I love to write and allow my mind to begin releasing all the words I hold inside so tight. I love to paint and allow the colors to tell a story. I allow my brain to get lost in the smell of the candle I lit and the sound of the music I have ringing in my ears. I begin to let the ideas flow and my hands begin to move. Writing brings me joy because it allows my brain to expand, it allows me to get something out, that on a typical basis I would keep inside. When I write, I typically have my topic and just begin to let the words flow through me. I never have a beginning or end in mind. I write what I feel, which is huge for someone who has learned to keep her feelings bottled up for some time.

Painting allows me to start with the strokes, up and down, back and forth. You let the colors mix together to make something beautiful. Never knowing where the brush will take you. Not knowing what the end result will be. For me that is a huge feat, I’ve always been the person who needs to have a plan, who wants to know how my story will end. I don’t want to start something and not know how it will turn out in life.

It’s funny when you are the kind of person who needs to know the end and hates the unknown that painting a picture or writing something starts with no end in mind. It allows you to spew words and feelings on to a page or canvas and gives an outlet and something completely different than what you would typically be. It allows for an inner child, inner peace, and inner self to be chaotic to let loose all the worry and all the doubts. I don’t have to do it for anyone else. Just myself.

It is so important to have that for ourselves in life. Something that we do for just us that allows us to take a deep breath, allows us to let out all our pent up energy. It is so important to take time out for yourself in a day. As a mother I’ve always felt guilty if I take out time for myself. It’s important to know that we cannot think that way and be guilt tripped. As people, we need a release, it is part of a self care lifestyle which is totally different than what most people think.

Self care is not just taking an hour to get your nails done, or being able to go shopping alone, or shower uninterrupted. Self care is not a day of a shopping spree. Self care is a lifestyle. It is your daily choices and movements which help create peace in your life. Where you find happiness in each day and it creates longevity in all the other mundane parts of life.

We tend to forget that life is not like the movies. For instance we focus on major life goals and happenings and forget that the 8 hour car ride actually takes 8 hours and isn’t just a montage of music. We tend to get so caught up in the stress of life and activities or drama that we neglect our things that bring us inner peace. Take that moment and smell the flowers, paint your picture, take your bubble bath, work or your car, play your instrument, write your book; because life is too short not too. Lead by example by letting go of all the other things in life and holding on to your inner peace, your sanity, and just love hard, work hard, and play hard in life. If you can’t let go of those things that take your inner peace and implement what adds to it then you will forever be imprisoned in the greatest prison of all. Our Minds.