It won't always be easy

We have to remind ourselves of why we are doing what we are doing and not always expect the Universe to show us the way.

Since the last time I wrote anything, I would say it has been a little over a year, the more and more “woke” I became, the more and more I started to realize that I was going have to start to remind myself of why I am doing what I am doing instead of always expecting the answers to my question as easily as the Universe makes them at times. Going through trials and tribulations are going to be part of that reminder to yourself, in a sense it’s the way the Universe is going to see if you really are trusting and believing in the process of where your journey is headed and where you are truly meant to be.

Sometimes it’ll be little things that test you and other times it may be more serious things that make you question literally everything and everyone around you. I can sit here and tell you all I have been through the last year and some but I may just stick to the one event that I thought would have be spiraling to the point I thought I would regress. I been through what I feel have been right from a middle point to some bad (keep in mind it’s been a year) but gradually with me being actually aware and stopping myself from doing all that questioning; things have been right from the middle point to small, miniscule little things. It may be crazy to say, but if you continue with the thought and manifestation of what your goal truly is and you put your trust AND worries into the process, that, though you cannot foresee the future, you know IS your future. I took back my power in the best way the Universe taught me how and I pushed through; and it was the best and scariest thing I think I ever did in my life.

It’s been a year and since I have enrolled back in school and to be honest and to my own surprise, I am doing really well. I felt great and no one knew what I was doing besides me and my mom (and that still holds true besides a few more people from immediate family) and I kept thinking to myself on several days of the week, sometimes two or three times a day, how this was going too well; but I continued to strive until the day where I felt like I was so triggered I thought I would have to stop everything in my life again due to fear. To make a longer story a little shorter, my ex husband somehow found my new number and had people messaging me trying to figure out where I would be throughout the day. Within that moment, after realizing what was going on, with confirmation of him doing it to someone else; I began to panic and thought that I was going to get screwed all over again. I had called my mom, who was on vacation, and began sobbing, asking her why me and why couldn’t I just be at peace. It then got to a point where I thought I know I didn’t make it as far as I have to stay scared, so I took back my power and told him through a text if he comes near me or my family or anyone I know and love, I will without a doubt in my mind file a police report and testify this time.

Since then life has been quiet, without a bother, and I am happy with everything in my life and I am finally with my best friend/boyfriend who is more than a blessing and so much more than peace. I don’t hold fear any longer and I just let everything be within the process. The Universe isn’t always going to send you signs of affirmations to let you know you are, in fact, going where you should be; but it will also send you trials, test, tribulations and situations where you will questions yourself to prove to it that you do really hold your trust in the process your being brought through. Always remember the teacher is always going to be quiet during the test and when you feel like you’re at your lowest; but never forget that if you weren’t meant to make it through the day, you wouldn’t have been brought right through it.

Never loose sight of a dream and your path because things are getting thrown at you. Remind yourself where you came from and where you know your going and push right through it all.