It's Not Precious, You Just Hate Yourself

As an antique and vintage curator, I am often very angry at Facebook moms in my antique and vintage groups. It isn't always moms, but it's most often moms. Here's why: Facebook moms act like something having value means that it should never be touched or used ever. For example, the other night, a woman asked if she should let her three year old play with some collectible dolls. My beef isn't with this woman, my beef is with the woman who replied to her saying, "No, they're collectibles."

To that I ask: Why not? We only live one life, we get maybe 80 years, 90 if we're lucky - why are we being so precious about things? The only thing those dolls are going to do otherwise is sit on a shelf and collect dust. I have to wonder if she really wants to take those dolls down every two months and dust them off.

Sure, I understand that it's valuable. I understand that if it's broken, there's no replacing it. You know who else understands that? Children. When I was five years old, my parents got me my first porcelain doll. They instilled in me that it was a very valuable doll and that I couldn't just throw it around like my Barbies, or it would break. They taught me to be careful with her and treat her with kindness and respect that I didn't afford my plastic dolls. I still have her, and many others at this point. Just because a child is young doesn't mean they're incapable of understanding value or break-ability.

I think the same thing about vintage dishes and glassware. They were made to be used and enjoyed. Why are we letting them sit up in curio cabinets collecting dust when we could be sipping our apple juice out of the pretty crystal, Karen?! Why?! It makes no sense to me that we should decide that just because something is nice or valuable or rare, we should only use it on special occasions or keep it locked in a glass prison.

I hear you asking, "Zale, what if it breaks?" So what if it breaks? You're out maybe $250 at the most with these sorts of things. The average American spends $1200 on fast food yearly. But no one is crying about that money wasted, are they?

We have these touches of history all around us and we are so eager to preserve it when we could be living it. I think we would learn and understand so much more about these items if we actually used them as intended as opposed to having them sit out of reach of small, grabby hands.

I don't understand this tendency that we have as humans to want to deprive ourselves of things that bring us joy. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with capitalism, and I'm not about to get on my high horse about that, but in a way we're trained that if we aren't suffering, it's not good enough. I think the same applies to antiques and collectibles, in a non-linear sort of way. We feel like if we aren't treating these things preciously, we're doing it 'wrong.' We feel like someone is gonna step in if we use Grandma's China to eat burgers and tell us, 'No, you can't do that.'

No one is going to chastise us. No one can. Chances are, if you're reading this, you're an adult. Guess what? You make the rules now. No one can tell you how to live your life, so why are you letting them? Why are you letting strangers on the internet dictate whether or not your three year old that you are in charge of gets to play with some bomb ass dolls? If you want to let them play with the dolls, let them play with the dolls. It's your kid and no one can tell you or your kid what to do except you.

And again, same with the plates. Or the Polaroid camera. Or the 1920s Singer sewing machine. Or the typewriter. The model cars. The old books. The fur coat. These things are not precious, you are withholding them from yourself because you feel like you don't deserve to play with the nice things. You're keeping yourself from them because you feel like you aren't allowed to have the privilege. You feel like you haven't suffered enough. You hate yourself, so you deny yourself the simple joys.

Stop it.

Life is short. Play with the dolls. Use the pretty dishes. Wear the fur. Don't be so precious about material things. You only get one shot, so you should enjoy everything you have.