It's About Progress, Not Perfection

In the faraway land of my childhood, shrouded by the mists of time…

(Can you tell I like fairy tales? I’ve always wanted to write one and couldn’t resist this opening sentence. 😉 And now that we got that out of the way, let’s continue with the scheduled article, already in progress.)

Through the mist, I heard someone talking about me. My little cone ears perked up and tuned in.

My father told a friend, “She’s a perfectionist.” By his tone of voice, I guessed that this was a good thing to be.

Later, I asked him, “What’s a perfectionist?”

He replied, “A perfectionist is someone who likes to do everything exactly right.”

My young brain immediately began doing the math. I knew what right was. Right answers got me praise from teachers. Right behavior at home got me favor and good attention.

So doing things right and getting them perfect all the time must be the best way to get what I want and make people like me. My childish logic made sense to me according to everything I had observed in the world during my six years of life. The way I saw it, being called a perfectionist was one of the best compliments you could get.

I decided then and there I would be the best perfectionist I could be — until ten years later…

“It’s about progress, not perfection.”

Sweat trickled down my neck and made my damp shirt stick to my back. I impatiently brushed the hair out of my eyes that escaped my disheveled ponytail. My chest heaved as I struggled to get my breathing under control. I looked across the bright red mats at my martial arts teacher calmly waiting for me.

Cautiously, I moved forward with my hands up and circled to the left as he approached. His fist flicked out and slammed into my shoulder, almost knocking me off my feet. I winced, knowing I’d have a spectacular bruise in two days, but I didn’t care.

I got my balance and renewed my attack, more determined than ever to land a blow.

Suddenly, the moment seemed right, and I leaped forward, throwing punches at his body. I drove hard, intending to reach his neck and lock onto his head.

But I never made it.

One well-timed punch to the gut dropped me to my knees, leaving me doubled over and gasping for breath. It seemed like an eternity before I could pull enough air into my lungs.

When I could finally speak, I looked up at my teacher in frustration.

“Why can’t I get this? Why can’t I do better against you?” I yelled at him.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’ve been doing this for twenty minutes and I’ve been doing it for twenty years,” he answered with a smile.

I couldn’t help smiling in return, even though it irked me that I had no response to his logic.

“There is no perfect technique,” he explained. “Everyone moves differently and finds new ways of doing things. You have to find and practice what works for you. It’s about progress, not perfection. Your technique improves all the time, so I have to up my game. When you go up against anyone else, it’ll seem easy.”

He was right. As much as I hated feeling weak and helpless, I was anything but that when it came time to face other people. All my struggles paid off when I submitted a person almost three times heavier who was trying to crush the breath out of me.

When I took martial arts, I was fortunate enough to have a teacher who saw himself in me and understood my temperamental approach.

Each time I cockily announced I could do a technique and then proceeded to fall flat on my face — sometimes literally — he just chuckled and let me get over myself.

Although many years have passed since those days, I still remember his words and cherish the wisdom even more because I know it’s true.

Perfection isn’t real.

“Perfection is the enemy of progress.”

Winston Churchill

Perfection is an illusion where the goal line just keeps moving. As soon as I reached what I first thought would be perfect, I discovered there was more to achieve, and the elusive state of perfection remained just out of reach.

Progression gets me where I want to go. Progress means moving forward, constantly evolving and exploring new territory. It goes hand in hand with the evolution of life.

Progress isn’t perfection, and it isn’t failure. Both perfection and failure are mere words that are defined by each person’s perspective or defined for them by someone else.

Perfection itself isn’t real, but our belief in it is.

On the flip side, progress involves movement, change, and tangible results. Progress can be measured, whether it’s mental, physical, or financial.

“Perfection is static, and I am in full progress.”

Anais Nin

Progress is real. Perfection is only an ideal.

(This story was originally published on Medium.)