Invocation to Writers Who Fear They Are Not Enough

Everything can be a source of inspiration: passion, rage, and even fear…

Everyday life has the territories of characters, the acres of concepts, the meadows of thoughts, and the domains of ideas. And I tell myself: "Why don't I let them free with the help of my creative pen?" I feel sincere affection for the persons I depict. This chemistry between us grows into genuine friendship when I describe their characters. I imagine how we drink tea with saffron, cardamom, and ginger in silence that is full of shared beauty of common understanding that whatever is kept quiet has the meaning I can read with every breath. This music needs dramatic skill to be revealed to the reader. The writers capable of such craft swagger in my memory as the fines and I crave for the same level of expertise and I fear every day that whatever I do is not enough.

Let me tell you how I deal with my fear

Every person is a living myth where the real and imagined blur together. It does not matter if the story is not yet the truth. When I consider it so - it becomes my history. That is why I often talk and write to myself about things I want to be my reality and which are not yet my truth, in the words of ready accomplishment, and already achieved success.

As I lift my head a particular 'Writing-Sunday', I feel the grandeur of my idea that I desire to communicate to other human beings and I repeat with passion and belief, "My story will rank with the greatest art of all times."

• I exercise my pen regularly to master the command over the written word.

Many fascinating things are still in the regions of the unwritable and the unspoken. I want to drain the cup of those experiences. Only then, I will astonish my reader with the things I perfectly, even to the most exquisite nuances, understand.

Every day I learn to tell my story confidently and convincingly. People should find it easier to remember than to forget. If I can control the ghost of an idea, make it meaningful, depict all unutterable communications, and add a few well-chosen silences, I will become a poignantly skilled writer. The best I can do is to encourage my talent.

• I inhale the very fragrance of my fear. It helps me move ahead.

I write with understanding that people will judge my story, some favorably, others - otherwise. There is no product of imagination that will suit everyone. I may make myself famous with particular chosen people of similar mental construction. So much the better.

If everyday life brings sad thoughts, I find something to smile at, even if this something is 'me getting negative feedback'. Humor - is the best cure for any doubts. And to know how to be funny is a significant achievement.

I am a woman of strong impulses, a lady in an advanced stage of self-awareness. Some people are shockingly chipped and cracked. My writing is intended to mend and heal. But what is remedy to one is poison to the other. That is why some take my writing with infinite good nature, others consider it 'purely anecdotal' and 'impossible to read'. Comments like this I consider of no more interest than last week's newspaper. I am young and fresh, and of to-day - and I will never let fear of judgement deprive me of my actuality. I file 'fears' under 'D' as deal with, and 'offensive, rueful responses' under 'I' as ignore.

Coping with writing-related-difficulties is a game of hide-and-seek. The way I deal with those problems tells tomes about myself as a writer. I am inexorably grateful for the gift of overcoming the obstacles in my way. I become utterly curious and utterly hungry during this process of personal development.

I judge the success of my efforts by two things: the number of pages written and the vastness of pages crossed and rewritten. This process is laborious and requires a great deal of patience and self-control. We are naturally born to great things. But those things are placed in the middle of the two extremes: between the fear to act and the bravery to dash headfirst. We should have both in moderation and make progress with some fear and considerable bravery.