I Pulled Myself from Poverty

Hello all. I hope you are all well.

This is a sort of ranty, partly 'about me'-ish kind of thing. I have been working on an article about myself. As I don't consider myself a particularly interesting person, that may or may not come to fruition.

I've recently been getting annoyed with various 'news' articles that talk about how a person has done something that many of us will never do. I'm talking about buying a house. There have, for some reason, been a lot of stories (usually of young people) with their 'we did this so everyone can'. In every single one of those situations, despite what the headline might suggest, those people had help. They're also always people on high incomes who have given up luxuries. One recent article was about a single parent who paid off over $30,000 in just a few months - personally, it seems odd to me that someone able to pay that off so easily got into the debt in the first place - but this person was able to take on extra work, had items to sell, and changed her shopping habits to the habits that poor people already do because they have no choice. There are similar stories of people paying off debts with those same 'simple tricks'.

I'm not begrudging them but I do find it quite insulting and patronising. Trying to point out that not everyone can do the same is met with comments of 'work harder', 'get a job', 'better yourself', and suggestions that everyone can save a deposit by cutting out their luxuries or selling their stuff. I certainly don't own anything that's worth much.

One thing that those commenters don't understand is that there are millions of people who don't have those luxuries in the first place. You can't give up something you don't have. Then, of course, there's the fact that a lot of the hardest working people are also some of the lowest paid.

Years ago, I don't remember how the conversation began, I was told I 'should have tried harder at school' because I was in a low-paying part-time job. Unsurprisingly, I heard nothing again from the person who said it after asking them how much harder I should have tried considering I had 11 GCSEs, I'd studied A-levels, I had a degree, and I'd got various other vocational and academic qualifications. There were also various reasons as to why I was in the position I was in - not a single one of those reasons related to a lack of education or effort.

Anyway, it's the 'better yourself' part that I wish to address.

It hadn't even occurred to me until very recently just how much I have changed my own life. I mean, I know I've done things. I know I've worked hard, I know I've achieved various things. I was the first person in my immediate family to get a degree. It has led me nowhere because I only got a 3rd, which renders it practically meaningless. But I did it. I proved to myself that I could. It hasn't been very helpful, though, as it's hindered access to other educational opportunities (but that's another story).

My life hasn't change dramatically in many respects. I still live in social housing in my home town, and my life is mostly quite mundane. However, a realisation came to me that I've come from poverty to what some might consider middle class. My job is, apparently, looked on as middle class even though the pay doesn't match.

We've been lucky enough to have regular holidays, we rarely have to worry too much about basics like bills and food. That was one thing that used to bother me when I was poor. Being told you should learn how to budget is rather impractical advice when you have nothing to budget with.

Apparently, there are politicians who think their £80,000 (a little over US$100,000) is not enough to live on, yet they would simply tell someone on less than a quarter of that to just save a bit more or not spend so much. That, of course, is tricky when you've got nothing left after basic bills. My suggestion to the politicians would be to cut back on their Starbucks and avocado toast, and that they don't need to have the latest phones. You know, the kind of advice given to the young and the poor who don't do any of the things they're advised to cut out because they can't afford it.

My point is that, while I have pulled myself from poverty, it has taken a very long time, and we do still struggle at times. It is still unlikely that we're ever going to be in a position to own our own home even if we cut out all of the luxuries that my wage affords.

Another point to add here is that everyone's priorities are different. Perhaps Joe Bloggs could save a deposit for a house if he gave up something else. But maybe that something else is his priority. One of our biggest priorities is family. For us, this means travelling hundreds of miles to see some of them. We see them only once a year, sometimes less. There are some things that people are simply not prepared to sacrifice.

My other point is that improving your own situation doesn't necessarily mean being hugely better off. It doesn't always equate to 'work harder = better job = better pay = affording things'. It can, as my personal account has shown, mean getting yourself off the dung heap of poverty and onto the first rung of a low paid job. I'm still trying to improve and look for a better job (not just financially better) but that is proving difficult. That's another gripe, actually, when people say 'get a better job' and that there are lots of jobs available. It's not really as simple as that for many of us. But I digress.

I really just came to say my story. I'd also like to say that just because I did it, doesn't mean to say I believe everyone can. Of course, I believe everyone should have the opportunity to better themselves should they wish to, and I believe that any full-time worker should be earning enough to make ends meet, but I know it doesn't always happen. It was only a few short years ago when I even began having the opportunity to bring myself out of poverty. I'm not going to give any practical tips or suggest that it's possible for everyone because I know that it's not. I'm not going to say it was easy because it absolutely was not.

I'm just saying everyone's situation is different. When we see someone in a low-paying job, our first instinct shouldn't be 'they should try harder'. That person might already have had it tough to get where they are.

I repeat, though, that the achievement of coming out of poverty hadn't occurred to me before. It was a sudden moment not long ago when I said something to my husband. His response was along the lines of "well, duh". He's always been very supportive and often reminds me of my successes, even when I feel like I've not really achieved anything. There are, of course, more important achievements than the money or property that you have. When I feel like we're struggling financially and that I haven't come anywhere close to realising my dreams or even to any worthwhile accomplishments in my working life, my husband will remind me of other things. He'll tell me all of the things I do and have done for our family, most of which I didn't really think of as an achievement.

Despite this seeming a bit of a rant, I did want to inspire you to recognise your own achievements that you had, perhaps, not acknowledged before. Think about how far you've come. I came up with what I consider an 'inspirational quote'. It specifically related to weight loss at the time, but could apply to anything. It went something like this:

"When you look back at the oceans you've swam, you'll see that what lies ahead is just a puddle".

I've certainly swam a few metaphorical oceans. At times, felt like I was drowning. I honestly don't know how I made it out. I have no tips or tricks. I have no intention of assuming everyone can do what I did. In fact, I hate it when people say "if I did it, anyone can". I wrote a whole article about annoying phrases, including that one. You can read that on my blog here.

Don't worry if you lack something that you (or other people) think you ought to have. You have not failed because you don't have it. You may not have the means, you may not see it as a priority. It's OK either way.

Especially don't look down on others for not having something you have. We all have different priorities. Not having (the means to get) something, isn't necessarily an indication of a person's lack of effort or ability just as having (the means to get) something doesn't necessarily equate to having worked harder.