I Have Trust Issues

Lately, I have been looking inward at myself. I have been trying to figure out things such as “Why am I not doing so well in my business?” If you have seen my last post, “The Time I Flunked out of College,” you will find that I have done pretty well myself when it comes to academics. Employment and business, which is another story. I will sum it up with two little words, “Trust Issues.”

It all started when I started working at CompuServe, which is a former tech company. I talked about them before. This was around 1990, so over 31 years ago. I started in Customer Service, which is the worst position you can have in any company, and some companies, even today, tell their employees that the only way to move up in the company is through the customer service department. Do not believe them. It is a trap. It also says that they can fire at any time.

Anyway, I had so many issues while I was a customer service rep that it was not funny. Mostly, I was lied on about the things a couple of co-workers said I did, but I didn’t, and I was promised that I could work on my goals, which was to be in the marketing department. This was around the time I entered and started my studies at Franklin University.

Let’s just say I was at CompuServe for two years, and I expected longer. I had the best benefits package, and I was never offered another benefits package at a company quite like this: Vacation pay (3 weeks), The company paid for my computer, I had short-term and long-term care when I was sick (I had a partial-hysterectomy during that time-I took both in order to recover from it), training in the other departments, which is why I wanted to work in the marketing department, and a couple of other items I cannot remember I had.

Next came the scams. One scam came when I was at my last job, Archivers. I was looking for a second job without leaving the first one. I applied with a company where the scams became too commonplace in 2023. The person hands you a check with a large figure on it. Mine was $4,000.00(USD). Part of the check I was to buy something from McDonald’s, then buy something from Walmart, wire some of the money, and keep the rest for yourself. I thought I was to answer calls because the ad on Careerbulder.com said that I would be answering calls. I checked with my bank to see if it was legit, and the clerk deposited it into my account. That Monday, after the check was deposited, I received a notice in the mail that all of my bank's accounts were shut down — one reason to have money in more than one bank account and bank. At the time, which was 2007, I had no idea that this was a scam. The bank manager wanted to throw me in under the jail, and if it weren’t for my mother, he probably would have made it happen.

I also had scams done to me as a businessperson. My last scam was a person who wanted me to work on a logo and a catalog, two of the services I provide. This was through Freelancer.com. One of the policies was that the client cannot contact me outside of the website, but here we are. In addition to those services, he also wanted me to set up several accounts, which all but one I was familiar with, but I did not mind. It was extra money. I found out that this client was stealing people’s credit cards and buying a print for himself. After the payment went through and landed in my business checking account. I did what he asked me to do, which was to wire the money to Nigeria. Why? Because I did not want any of that tainted money in my account, which was a legitimate bank account from a bank that, SURPRISE, the same bank that told my then bank that I was depositing the check from a fake account back in 2007. What are the odds of me having them as my banker?

Why do I have trust issues?

I have trust issues because:

There are too many people who scam in this world. Everyone wants money, but they are not willing to work for it. You cannot even go to an ATM without someone putting some skimmer device on it. This is why I do not get any money out of them anymore. I am afraid that some idiot with a college degree placed a skimmer on the machine overnight.

Too many people have burned me. I must ask myself this question, especially to family members: Don’t you want me to at least earn a living instead of bumming off the system or, worse: Homeless. Yes, I have parents, especially since it is just dad now, but even he can do only so much.

People are greedy. It goes back to my first point of people not being willing to work for their coin (money). People are always looking for the fastest and easiest way out.

The news is flakey. Very seldom watch the news anymore. If it is not about some racial issue (which we should all have the heads up about), Donald Trump (do not get me started about this guy), the economy, Bitcoin (which you will never see me talk about until it is becomes stable money, and even then, I may be too old to talk about it.) I can get the weather on my phone and any sports team’s scores. The News alone would make you have trust issues.

What will make me trust again:

Stop scamming. Eventually, YOU WILL GET CAUGHT!!! The feds are on to you.

Learn to operate an honest but legal business. Yes, it takes time, but it is better than jail time. Just think of all the people who do not have to watch their backs when you come around.

Is it fun having dozens of stolen credit and debit card numbers in your hands? When they fail, you are not getting the call. The people whose number you have stolen get the call from their creditors. If one fails, you just pick up another number and roll with it. You get tons of free stuff on top of it. Well, the person whose number you stole from is not the only one paying for it. The rest of us is paying for it in the form of a higher price point.

Not listening to the news. This form of information can cause a lot of headaches and tension. I find time now to read a book, work on my business, or play a game. Much easier on the heart.

I also watch who and what company I talk to, and I listen for the signs. If it is too good to be true, I do not engage. If it involves me putting money down up front, I pray about it.

Trusting in God has helped me a lot with the trust issues, but I have a long way to go.