How to Set Healthy Boundaries

you too, like everyone else in the universe, deserve your love and affection. ”~ Buddha

This unprecedented time gave us the opportunity to pause, meditate, and focus on the things that really matter in our lives. As an unexpected benefit, the need for social isolation has provided most of us with much-needed personal boundaries.

I grew up in a time when children were seen and heard, but we were never encouraged to have our own boundaries. We had no privacy, and there was no understanding of the need for time alone. It reminds me of a scene in the Woody Allen movie where a man is in the bathroom and his wife is yelling at him at the door. When the phone rang, my mother would answer and she would often listen to another call until I told her to turn it off.

As I get older, I see more and more of the need for independent relationships and healthy boundaries. Something happened when I turned 50, and I no longer had the energy or desire to give in to unhealthy situations.

Last year I had some health problems, which I realized were due to allowing myself to be involved in unhealthy conditions. The stress I was experiencing weakened my immune system and made me more susceptible to infections. I no longer intend to compromise my health.

At some point in our lives we all need to “deal with our souls,” as Carl Jung once wrote, and do the work within us to heal ourselves and change.

I have come to realize that the only way to have a healthy, healthy relationship is to have both people involved look at themselves and see unhealthy patterns so that they can do the necessary work of conversion.

This time has really helped me to rethink my boundaries and to have a new appreciation for its need and the freedom within it. Boundaries empower us by letting others know what works and what doesn't, protecting our space and energy.

“Personal boundaries are physical, emotional, spiritual, or social barriers that define us as individuals. Restricting means that instead of taking into account the beliefs, values, and feelings of others, we agree with our own. We learn to develop strong confidence that helps us control what is important to us and make decisions that use our value system. ”~ Matot-Massei

Interestingly, if you have ever had border issues with your family members, you may have similar problems in your personal relationships.

For example, in a relationship you need, dependent on others there are no healthy boundaries. Individual boundaries are removed, leaving them to give up their identity in order to find the love and external affection they desire by meeting the needs and expectations of another. When you give up your identity to meet the expectations of someone else, you lose your sense of self-worth and your self-confidence.

Some people tend to blame others for their feelings and behavior, becoming victims. They are waiting - in fact, waiting for someone to save them and give them the love and attention they need. In doing so, they give of themselves.

Setting healthy boundaries gives you strength, and I hope you will teach others in your life to do the same and learn how to take responsibility for themselves. Just remember, it is not your job to do for them. Learning to love oneself is the key to this process.

If you are in a relationship like this, you should ask yourself if you are helping or empowering?

Empowerment is often disguised as helpful, but repeatedly rescuing a person from the consequences of his or her behavior promotes unhealthy behaviors.