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How to Remain Happy and Let Go of Sadness

by kaley holmes 4 years ago in self help
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The Power of Duality

Beautiful Pelicans of Hollywood. Inspiration from Haemin Sunim's "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down."

Perception further creates your reality and experience.

Duality is commonly known as an instance of contrast between two aspects of something.

What we often fail to realize is that the two sides of things we are comparing in contrast are essentially the same thing interpreted in two different waysby our perception.

There is no real or fake, there is only raw existence and energy from which both derive from. There is no right or wrong because there is only decision, choice, and opportunity. Opportunity to discover. What we may interpret as wrong had to be done and was a part of our unique plan the universe has for each and every one of us. What we may interpret as right comes from the exact same. In other words, there is only a “thing” to do, there is not a right or wrong, “thing” to do. For example, a murderer kills someone. In most people's eyes it is the wrong thing to do and the right thing to do would be to not commit such crime and for the perpetrator to let off steam in a much healthier way. However, to gain peace of mind for such incident we have try to understand the amount of pain the perpetrator must have been feeling within himself to commit such crime. The karma will work back around to him. All we can do is bless his soul, amongst the several other people suffering from their family's death. In the perpetrator's eyes, this may have been the right thing to do. Labeling this situation as right or wrong does not change the situation or its outcome or for that matter make it any better. All it does is get our egos involved, so we feel a sense of righteousness. Criticism without a solution is merely an inflation of the critic's ego. If you consider only your side, you’re no different than a child. Depending on how you look at the situation, whose shoes you’re stepping in, perception changes. Many conflicts in our lives can be resolved in we put ourselves in the other person's shoes. If you get angry while debating right or wrong you have conceded defeat. The best revenge is love. The more you hate someone or something the more you think about that particular person/thing, unable to let him go. From here, we naturally then begin to act like him or the situation we are having trouble letting go of. This is an example of how our thoughts manifest into our realities. However this is a whole other topic for a whole other day.

There is always a lesson to be learnt or growth to endure. There truly is strength in adversity.

Another thing to remember is that the only way to discover what we want is first deciphering what we don’t want. There is do, and there is don’t, but essentially both derive from the raw energy of wanting or needing.

This also goes for sadness and happiness, fear and confidence, and anger accompanying the state of being calm. There merely is only emotion and states of consciousness down to the roots, beneath the labels where the pure energy is all that exists.

The more power we give to the labels of things like anger, fear, sadness and jealousy the tighter we hold onto them, resisting them to flow effortlessly in and out of our stream of consciousness. They drift away on their own if we choose to let them. When you have an unpleasant feeling, leave it alone so it can flow. The wave of emotion will recede on its own as long as you don't feed it by dwelling on it.

Same goes for success and failure, as they are both mere outcomes and nothing more. One would not exist without the other, they coexist. Without failure we would not know success and without success we would not know failure. If you tell yourself that you cannot fail and you will not fail and failure is for the weak, you are therefore resisting a natural life experience that allows you to understand and value the state of success. Resistance of something further creates more of what you're trying to avoid. If you accept failure as a potential outcome, you're not limiting yourself to any single experience and therefore your goals and aspirations will flow into your stream effortlessly. If you say things like “I will only succeed and never fail,” you’re essentially doing the same thing for yourself—resisting failure which will then create more of it.

However, if you accept failure as an option, success will further grow abundantly because you aren't resisting either. On the contrary, if you have negative self talk—“I will never be successful or do as well as them”—you’re resisting success. You may be thinking... Will this further create success? No. You will start to believe these negative things about yourself and your experiences in the outside world will continue trying to prove these beliefs to be true. This is all in your control. You limit your experiences by your perception and the perspective you have of yourself. Because you believe you can’t be successful, your external world will only try to confirm that through your experiences. Even when you do accomplish something that exemplifies success, it won't be enough or “as good” and it won't be “good enough” until you change that self talk; the “I AM’s” to “I AM GOOD ENOUGH.”“I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN SUCCESS.” “I AM WORTHY OF SUCCESS.” “I AM IMPORTANT.”“I AM BEAUTIFUL…” Once you do this, your outer world will start to change with you. You will coexist with the universe around you and now it will be much clearer than it ever has been before. There is no need to resist any single experience. Believe in yourself, be open to failure because failure is essentially success, be open to getting sad, but don't hold onto that label, view those feelings as raw energy; be the observer on the sidelines of your internal emotional experience. Don't judge yourself, just watch uncritically. Once you learn to observe yourself and your internal emotional experiences without judgement, you will then feel these negative emotions drift away on their own.

self help

About the author

kaley holmes

My goal is to add value to your lives & to empower you with knowledge, things that I have learnt & discovered and most of it will probably be Holistic & natural.

I am a small business owner & life enthusiast.

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