How to Handle the Critics in your Life

In just about everything we do, we all like to receive affirmation that we’re doing a good job. It supports the inherent need that we all have for validation.

If someone asks how do you feel or respond when you’re acknowledged for good performance, the answer is fairly easy. But how do you feel or respond when the feedback is less than positive, and more critical? The way you receive, or accept the criticism is pivotal in future performance, moving forward.

Like most people, I’ve had to learn this the hard way, through numerous experiences and some tough

conversations. Over time, I’ve taught myself to simplify how I receive criticism to 3 simple elements:

1. Toughen the skin, open the mind

Very important to remove the emotional attachment to your work/performance. Take a more cerebral approach to receiving feedback. Keep an open mind by understanding there’s always room to improve for anything.

Read the criticism looking for anecdotes for improvement and growth.

2. Consider the Source

Who is giving the criticism? What is their background? Are they an authority on the topic?

Don’t be so quick to dismiss criticism from someone unfamiliar with what you do. Good feedback can come from anyone, whether or not they’re known as an authority.

Someone who’s not so knowledgeable may point out something you may have been too close (in your work) to realize. When receiving criticism from someone who IS an authority on the topic, look for feedback that is factual: Was your performance too fast?

Too slow? Was it incomplete in any way? Reaching out to them for any feedback - clarification can also help you release the emotional attachment, and embrace your passion to improve.

3. How is it said? Is it to help, or to hurt?

This is kind of linked to the first element of toughening the skin. Again, removing the emotional part helps you to clearly dissect each piece of feedback. It also helps you to get to the core of the actual message. Break the feedback down and ask yourself: Will this part help me? or is it meant to hurt me?

For example, if the criticism covers details or mechanics of your performance and offers a suggestion or two for you can try, that would be considered constructive and helpful. If the criticism sounds unproductive, references things that are unrelated, or sounds as if your character is being questioned, then it's most likely not given to help you.

The Road to Rediscovery is part of a movement, part of a revolution, and guess what? YOU'RE now a part of it! Together, we are "roadies",

and it sure feels good having you on the journey! Thanks so much, we’ll chat again soon.