How To Gain More Traction and Become Unstoppable in Life

I’m 24 and I have no expertise — yet. I stopped caring about the university after finishing 3/4 courses. I was working out with big breaks, making no progress at all. I started guitar, learning to program, meditating, biking, and diet at some point in my life. I abandoned anything I started. I almost abandoned writing too.

Why? I need the excitement of meeting a goal but I’m a perfectionist, and I always skipped steps. I wanted to witness the final result, but I didn’t want to go through boring steps. I wanted to play a guitar solo without mastering simple chords yet. I wanted to do 100 pushups per day but I couldn’t do 50.

I knew the problem was the way I was progressing through a goal but I didn’t know what I should change. I had to take action. I had to search for answers and apply them in my life. Reshaping myself was a big deal. It took me months, but some months are better than some years.

I visited countless blogs and kept countless notes. I filtered them, correlated them with my situation, and found what I should change. When I did that, I also realized why we read stories that we know the answers to.

I found out that by writing down the problem, I would eventually see it in a much more clear way.

“Your dreams are only dreams until you write them down!”

The Problem

I felt stuck forever — and you may too. I remember reading an article about two types of people that have that feeling. Apparently, I was both.

In one instance, you are stuck because you are in deep pain about not having the life you expected

You may not have the money you wanted to. Or your family isn’t helping you escape your demons. Maybe a health issue, or living in a place you don’t want to. Maybe you are jealous of the successful people you read about on Medium, making thousands per month.

In my case, everything I mentioned above defines my situation. Things like these brought thoughts into my mind, draining life from me. I was on track, but just for a little bit. I had to become more ignorant about things I couldn’t change at that particular time.

Listening to music, watching countless movies, gaming, reading books. I did them all to avoid looking at a life I didn’t have.

The other instance is when you had a terrible experience of childhood that was especially lonely or unnoticed by others

To “move forward in life”–to become more healthy, or get work you love, or even being more fit, feels like abandoning your past, unhappy selves. Almost as if, to move forward, you have to tell your past selves that “it didn’t really matter.”

Telling myself that I had to avoid gaming or social media felt so wrong. That self of me was living an unhappy routine, but it was a routine. Leaving him after 5 years felt like living a big piece behind. I had to remove my addicting distractions.

There is a version of you that is almost holding the present version of you hostage.

In the first instance, you can’t move on because you only want the life you didn’t get to live. In the second, you can’t move on because you can’t bear abandoning your past self. Either way, it feels like betraying a self of you.

So what is the answer? The answer is to consciously respect these alternative selves. In the first instance, see the version of you who continued living the undisturbed life and ask for that one’s blessing. In the second instance, notice that things get better for your past self only when you allow that one’s future (that’s you) to get better.

Now, it’s time to get active.

Know What YOU Want

The first step, as simple as it may sound, is the most important. Many get distracted by what others are doing, and some are distracted by what they think they should do. All tips are accepted, but you have to apply them to what YOU want. People want to sell you their product but that’s their point of view and it may differ from yours.

Having a vision gives you a target. Setting goals will give you direction.

Without any target, you luck focus. And without any goal, you don’t have any steps to climb to. Meeting your goals means that you are in the right direction.

Whatever You Do, Do Something. BE IN ACTION.

A runner can’t finish if he is not running. Can you read a book if you are not reading a couple of pages per day? Can you get a degree if you’re not studying every day?

When I got into writing, I wasn’t writing every day. I noticed that one skipped day would bring another. I was losing momentum. Instead, I started writing even on days I didn’t want to. I saw myself ready to write every day and also being better every day, too.

Stretch your comfort zone. Successful leaders and individuals took risks to get where they are now. They are not free of fear, but they are ready to confront their obstacles.

Once you get started, it becomes much easier to stay in motion. But, starting is the most difficult obstacle to overcome. Trust the process. You’ll realize that the momentum you’re generating makes you unstoppable.

Take Baby Steps

Think of yourself as a car on the highway. The highway is life, and the speed limit is 130 km/h — sorry Americans but I’m from Europe. You don’t want to forever gain speed, that’s dangerous, it may destroy you. Also, you don’t want to break too much, you’ll lose momentum and energy.

You can’t climb stairs two by two. You’ll get exhausted and you’ll end up getting the elevator. Life doesn’t have an elevator.

One reason people don’t get traction is that they try to go too far too fast — including me. Most writers will tell you they write just a few hours per day. I know I can only add one push-up per day to not get exhausted for the next set. You can create a following on Medium but one story at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither you and your goals.

Set goals, daily tasks to achieve, realistic ones though. Understand that every task is a new goal to get over with. Break your one big goal into a million little ones.

The Takeaway

I’m 24 — just recently had my birthday, with no degree, no expertise but I’m doing my best to change. So far it’s refreshing. I never stayed in place for that long in my life.

Now I can safely say that I’m doing some entry-level Calisthenics. I’m writing consistently and I’m getting into the world of Web-design/development with full force. And all that, one staircase at a time.

You have to set a final goal. You have to stay in constant motion. Your motion must stay constant and not alter through the ride. Three easy steps to follow to create traction and be unstoppable.

There’s always a good time to change, but don’t settle with mediocrity.

Find my links here.

Originally published on Medium.