How to Deal with a Crappy Day!!

Did you ever wake up, go through a day, and then ask yourself, "Why bother?" Did you ever want to just shoot the alarm clock because it actually worked that day? Did you ever wake up from a bad dream, only to discover that the bad dream was much better than your worst day to come? If you ever had situations like these, my friend, just feel free to read on.

These situations are the very definition of what crappy days are. Those are the days when the dog decided to poop on you instead of the ground he is being walked on. I should know. I have had more crappy days than I care to recall. Don't get me wrong. I've also had some very stellar days, but the crappy days outnumbered the good stuff more than I ever care to remember.

What is a crappy day and how do you earn one? Simple. Breathe in. Now, breathe out. You have just now qualified for a free crappy day. Now, you can go out into the world to redeem it.

Here is an idea of a typical crappy day for me: Did you ever go travel around a huge metropolitan city like New York? It is a rather huge place. There are literally millions of people out there. And with millions of people, there are millions of cars. And with millions of cars, there are just thousands of parking spaces. And with thousands of parking spaces, will be millions of arguments and disagreements over those very same parking spaces. It's only natural.

Let's stick with the car issue for a moment.

I am sure that you had to go shopping... at a mall. Yes, those big, fancy parking lots can give you a very crappy day as well. Think about it. You decide to step up to the big league and do some major shopping, perhaps for Christmas gifts. Did you ever try to PARK at a mall? That is an adventure in itself. I have been known to drive around, literally, for hours just to find a space. One year, I did just that. At the end of two hours, just to find a place to park, I said, "Forget it! They are just going to have to settle for a Christmas card." When I did find a spot one year, the clown next to me decided to literally squeeze his car next to mine, thus making it very difficult for me to get out of my car. So, I did the next best thing. I decided to leave him a Christmas present—a nice big ding on the passenger door of his nice, new Mercedes-Benz. That should have been a Christmas for him to remember. It was for me. Now, the only Christmas shopping I will do is online. No more headaches.

Why should I be the only one to have a very crappy day? Let's share.

Driving in New York City is no picnic either. New York City is trying to become either the NASCAR or NHRA headquarters of the North. Many, if not most, drivers think that the streets and highways in this state are designed to be raced on 24/7. I simply cannot tell you the number of times that I have been caught up in "race" situations.

Imagine, if you will, just trying to get to work by car. You don’t want to be late. So, you leave somewhat early. If you are like me, you do not eat at home on a work day, you will leave even earlier to buy breakfast along the way. That is fine because you will still be early for work. Not in NYC for other folks. They prefer to leave ON TIME. In other words, even if there is a traffic jam, they still refuse to budget enough travel time into their plans. What do they do if they discover that they are late? They will get on the highway, push the pedal to the metal, and honk like hell if somebody gets in their way. The NASCAR portion is equally recognizable. That is when they tailgate someone, a tactic that is the equivalent of one car drafting another car. This will go on endlessly. If that is not enough, you have those who want to jump off the starting line when the light turns green. These are the NHRA guys (or gals). They feel the need to mash the pedal just to show how quick their little car is. You can ALMOST spot these kinds of drivers because they drive a “ricer,” a Japanese car that has been outfitted with racing stuff and lowered so far to the ground that it is able to hit a manhole cover. Highway patrol vehicles everywhere should have a field day finding these guys. Solution? When you become a victim of a tailgater, slow down by 10 to 20 miles per hour and just hold it there. The truly impatient driver will go on by. Do far, this tactic has always worked for me.

Now, that is just driving. Let’s forget driving for now. Let’s head to the store instead.

When I shop for stuff, I tend to buy a few things and project to pay more for them. In other words, I will pick up, say, five items that may not total more than 10 to 15 dollars. Then, I will put down a 20 dollar bill. How do I know that this is a good thing? Because many (if not most) cashiers will do their best to see to it that I get a nice discount on a product. How very nice of them.

So, where is the crappy part? Picture the same scene, except before I reached the cashier, some dolt decided to pay their bill in PENNIES, then complained that their coupon wasn’t honored, AND/OR decided to waste our valuable time by counting out 20,000 pennies right then and there. Of course, it doesn’t stop there. Then, they have the gall to complain about paying for something that cost them two dollars when they have a coupon that would reduce the price of an item to a mere $1.99. No, it doesn’t stop there!!!! Now, this market moron stops to count EACH item on the conveyor belt and see if they can find it on the receipt. They are not leaving until this maneuver is over. Then, after this is over, the first time... you got it!!!! They count and compare again just to make sure that everything is correct. By this time, I am looking at this person and wondering, “If I disposed of this fool’s body out back, would any judge call it justifiable homicide?” I know that the jury would be in my favor because all of the necessary jurists are all in the same line with me as another outdated coupon comes out of the pocket of the perennial shopper. My solution? Be patient. This will be over soon. Just try to relax.

Do you still want more? Okay. You asked for it. I have LOADS of them because I always have crappy days, even more than my fair share of them.

Recently, I went to a church event. I sat next to a very beautiful lady. It looked like we were getting along. She sat next to me during the whole event. From time to time, we had very brief chats ending with her always smiling at me. Before the end of the event, I felt like this would be the lady for me. Before the end of the service, we exchanged phone numbers. I made sure that she had my cell number so that she could reach me anytime, anywhere. I was even hoping that she would text me from time to time, even though she gave me her landline number. I left the service with a smile on my face as she went on her way home as well.

Get ready. The crappy portion is coming up.

The next day, a nice Sunday afternoon, I decided to give her a call. I wanted to invite her to a nice breakfast or lunch at a nearby eatery, my treat, of course. The conversation went something like this:

Ring! Ring! (Well, what else do you expect a telephone to sound like?)

Her: Hello?

Me: Hi! It's me.

Her: How may WE help you?

Me: We?

Her: Who is this?

Me: It's Maurice. We met at church yesterday.

Her: Oh! Hi, Maurice. I did not know that it was you because your number did not come up. How are you?

Me: I am fine. By the way, who is WE? Son? Daughter?

Her: Oh, my husband and I usually get calls from a friend of ours. I thought that you were the friend of ours.

Needless, that was the highlight of a crappy day for me yesterday. The conversation kind of died out after that. All of my hopes for a girlfriend went down the drain when she explained that the WE was her and her husband. Yup, that was the crappiest day of my week. Solution? As they say, there are more fish in the sea. Someone else will come along. Be positive.

Yes, I will understand if you are having a crappy day. Relax. There are enough crappy days out there. There are enough out there for all of us to share. It's like fate is doing an Oprah on us. You can have a crappy day! And you can have a crappy day!!! There is only one way to deal with a crappy day. Just relax. It will soon pass. Better days will come. Try not to get bent out of shape. Don't let it get you down. You can get through this. Once you understand, you will experience better days and you will understand what to do and how to deal with the crappy ones. In other words, you will be just fine.

Oh crap!!! Time for me to go. Gotta pay some crappy bills with my crappy pile of money.