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How I Found Joy and Bliss

Even in the Midst of Trauma, Conflict, Envy, Deception, Hatred and Grief

By Heart Centered UniversePublished 2 years ago 10 min read
Top Story - April 2022
How I Found Joy and Bliss
Photo by Shashi Chaturvedula on Unsplash

If you read this title and rolled your eyes, I feel you. It sounds bizarre to say this, but I feel like I'm writing this blog post more for myself than for anyone else. It's a kind of: I'll refer to this every time I feel helpless and desperate as a way to remind myself of how to get to that state of absolute bliss, no matter what is going on in my life.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a flawed human, just like you are. I get sad, frustrated and angry. But I try and snap out of this feeling as quickly as I can. I don't quite yet have the inner peace of Buddha, nor am I as enlightened as an Ascended Master. The point is that I am self-aware and honest with myself, and I am striving daily to get that inner peace and enlightenment. I'm guessing if I already had all that I wouldn't even be here, incarnated in this dense physical body that's filled with pain and that feeling of separation. But I know that's not our true reality, which helps. We are all One and connected, and our natural state is one of pure love and bliss.

Except we are stuck here, in the dense 3D. I'm guessing it's to learn something and evolve spiritually. Yikes. I'm over it already. I keep saying "this will be my last incarnation, I'll learn everything I need to know in this life" because DAMN-this shit is hard. The pain, the grief, the hunger, the hopeless desperation. That's life. Wherever we are, is exactly where we are supposed to be. If you can look at life's challenges and find the lesson that you needed to learn and be grateful for it, you're farther along than you think.

So...I have to constantly remind myself of how to get to that state of inner peace and bliss. You probably already know all these tips, but here's your (or my!) reminder anyway:

Set Better Boundaries

By Erin Larson on Unsplash

I have to give you a little warning with this one: If you've never had firm boundaries before, once you start setting them, there are going to be people that are going to get really pissed about it. Sigh. Whatever. Give up trying to make everyone like you.

The problem with having low boundaries is that it drains you. If you're constantly doing favors for people and helping them and never getting help from them (or anyone) in return, it's going to exhaust you. It will affect every area of your life, from your career to your personal relationships. And when you think of it in this way, it suddenly doesn't seem worth the sacrifice.

I'm happy to announce that I have very firm boundaries. And it only took me about 46 years, but that's fine. However, it has not stopped me from being a loving and helpful person. I'm not always expecting something in return, but now I only do favors for those who are grateful and would do it too. Not for me necessarily, but just in general.

If someone exits your life because of you setting firmer boundaries, then they weren't a real friend to begin with. Let them go, and wish them well on their journey. Those are not your people, and that's ok! The one thing we all have in common is that we are here for a very limited amount of time. Don't waste it feeling resentful or angry. Toxic emotions only hurt you.

Another thing I make sure not to do is to give them a pass, as in, a spiritual bypass. Spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds and unfinished developmental tasks" according to Wikipedia. Instead of facing an issue, a spiritual bypasser will throw some"love and light" at it and call it a day. I believe this is a very dangerous habit, and one I avoid. Not everyone deserves your love, what they deserve is a slap in the face. But you could get arrested for that, so let's not go there.

But whether I have to draw a line in the sand, build a brick wall, or burn the freaking bridge to the ground, I just do it. I owe it to myself to protect my sacred energy from those that genuinely wish I was dead. As an empath I can feel this energy loud and clear. There will be no "love and light" for you sweetie (insert sarcasm), just the sword (figuratively speaking). These types of people will have zero access to me, whether it's IRL or on my socia media. #byebitch.

Tell People How You Feel

By Christina @ on Unsplash

If one of your friends or family members does something that affects you and you disagree with it, speak up! Lately, I've been calling people out on their behavior, and surprisingly, most decide to end the friendship instead of just apologizing. Huh. Ok, bye!

It's funny how those that hurt you end up blocking you. Or avoiding you, probably because your mere presence reminds them of how horrific they treated you. But yeah, I get that, seeing my face reminds them of what a douche they were. So blocking me is a much easier solution. Well, I'm happy to report my social media feed is much more positive, filled with people that actually care about humanity. Win-win.

But if you're reading this article, I'm guessing you're done with shallow self serving "relationships". The whole world is evolving, are you coming with us? Or are you going to stay behind, stuck in greed, envy, and hatred? The choice is yours and yours alone. However your life turns out is all on you, bro. You can't keep blaming everyone else, take responsibility for your life. Change your attitude and behavior and watch your life magically change for the better.

You have every right to ask your family and friends why they acted in a certain way, or why they put you in a difficult situation. I had started to notice that holding in my emotions was affecting me in a negative way. So now, I don't hold back! Trust me, I'm tactful about how I say things. I try not to accuse or sound judgmental. But hey-this hurt me/bothered me/wasn't cool/not how I roll/don't ever do that again is a perfectly acceptable thing to say, and you should do it regularly. Make a habit of it, in fact.

You have to express your emotions, otherwise it will only hurt you. Most chronic diseases are emotions or trauma that is stuffed down...deeper and deeper. Instead of letting it come up to examine it, work through it and heal it, we pretend it doesn't exist. But it does. And it's toxic as hell. I'm not a medical doctor, I'm just speaking from my own life experience.

Honor Your Emotions

By Paola Chaaya on Unsplash

Think back to your last breakup. Are you there? Ok, I'm sure one of your well meaning friends or famiy said: "Oh, just get over it." But the problem're not over it. You're sad, depressed even. Maybe you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with this person. It is totally normal to be sad! Hide away in your house and drink wine for a couple of weeks, that's not only ok, it's normal. I'm more worried about those people that don't give it a second thought and act like that relationship never happened. But let's not worry about them, right?

Honor your feelings. Cry every God damn day if you need to. Let it out. Stop pretending you're a robot and that you should be "ok" because (as your friends say) he didn't treat you right. I promise you that one day you'll wake up and you'll be you again and you won't cry. Something will feel different. You'll be you again, although maybe not the exact same person, but you will have healed. Because you honored those feelings and took the necessary time to process everything, learn the lessons that you needed to learn, and then let it go. Trust me, reactivating your Tinder profile won't help you heal, but so many have tried that as a solution. If you don't heal, you will actually just keep attracting the same situations over and over again until you do. Yeah, that happens. It's not fun.

After you sit with these emotions and process them, that is when you'll finally be able to let them go. There is no time limit on this, take as long as you need. There are some wounds that will never go away, like the death of a beloved, and you will just need to learn how to live with the grief. But don't stay too long in negative land. Our thoughts create our reality, and our natural state is one of absolute Divine Love, peace and tranquillity.

Once we all cross over after death, we wil be reunited with our loved ones and we will regret having stayed in that state of unbelievable pain from grief for that long. You can't just make it "go away", and you can't put a time frame on it. But just learn to live with it, and be happy anyway. People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Your loved one is on the other side and is now your personal "angel", and you can call on them for help or talk to them anytime you want. I usually do this while I'm alone in my apartment, so people don't think I'm crazy. But after my son passed away, did it really matter what anyone thought anymore? Actually, not much in this material world did matter to me anymore, it's all so temporary. I still can't understand why people place so much importance on material things, when we can't take any of it with us when we die. All we can take with us is the memories, and the love we have in our hearts.

When People Show You Their True Colors, Believe Them

By Frankie Cordoba on Unsplash

Eek! This one is really difficult for me, because I actually believe in the goodness of humanity. Sadly, this is not the case. Some people are just massive pieces of sh*t. Their main goal in life is to get what they want, and they don't care who they hurt in the process of getting it.They will lie, cheat and steal and still sleep like a baby at night (which means they have zero remorse). Maybe life hurt them, so they decide it's acceptable to hurt too. I don't care what their justification is for their actions, they had better stay very far away from me and my family. Once I accepted this fact, that some people just suck, my life went a lot smoother. It still fells icky to hear someone call me horrible words or insult me, but now I accept the reality that some people are just assholes, and I can ignore that. You. Suck. Stay. Away. Wow...I feel a lot better now!

However, one thing that helps me with this is being absolutely and wonderfully grateful when someone shows me their true colors. It may be the most hateful, venomous thing you've ever heard or read, but now you know exactly how they feel. And it could have been hidden for years. But now it's not, it's out in the open and in the knowledge bank of your brain.

Don't try and re-paint their "masterpiece". Do not make excuses for them because maybe they're under pressure or whatever. This is how they really feel about you, and they've been feeling this way the whole time. You just didn't know about it because most people are fake. Authenticity is a rare commodity these days. It sucks and it makes me sad there are people like this in this world. But I just block them and carry on with my day. I send them healing light, because they most certainly need some.

Remember, how people treat you has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with what's going on inside of them. You can have compassion for them and block them at the same time. You really do not need anyone in your life who hates you. Really right now? Why do I even have to tell myself this (insert eye roll). Stop letting anyone like this have any access, whatsoever, to your life. Enough said.

Live in the Present Moment

By Fallon Michael on Unsplash

So much pain and guilt is felt if you're always living in the past. You and everyone else on the planet has made mistakes that they (we) regret. But there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past. What you can do, is live in the present moment, and embrace all the possibilities. Do you want to make things right from the past? Like extend an olive branch or give an honest apology from the heart? That is something you can control, how do you wish to proceed?

While we cannot change the past, we can make amends if we choose to do so. And we can certainly make better decisions moving forward. Personally I am not going to spend one more second feeling guilt, shame, or remorse. It doesn't serve my higher self (she doesn't like it one bit-what a badass she is!). These emotions are a very low vibration, and my whole aim in life (at the moment) is to vibe higher!

Choose the Higher Vibrations

Image from Google/Pinetrest

I am choosing those higher vibrations:

Courage, Willingness, Acceptance, Reason, Love, Joy, Peace, and Enlightenment ❤️ 💝 💕

Rebecca J. Brock is a real estate agent, writer, part time model/actress and mother living in Miami Beach, FL.

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About the Creator

Heart Centered Universe

Author of Transcendence A Memoir, SAG Actress, and Real Estate Agent based in Miami Beach, FL. My blog is about what I feel called to share with the world🌍 Be Happy and VIBE HIGH! ⭐️❤️

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Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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Comments (1)

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  • Nour Boustani2 years ago

    I have incredibly high boundaries as well. It turns away the wrong people and makes life much easier. Thanks for sharing.

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