How I Coped With The Loss Of My Parents

Growing up, my parents were always the ones I looked up to the most. They are the ones who really help you become who you are. In my story I had to grow up faster than I thought; without my parents being there.

The week after Christmas was when my life was turned upside down. I, a normal happy girl, was about to go through some really hard things!

I was visiting my dad in South Carolina for Christmas, during my visit I got to spend the night with one of my friends when I got a phone call that my dad wound up in the hospital. My dad was fighting brain cancer. He had a type of cancer that moved. I went to be with my dad in the hospital to keep him company.

On New Years Day we got some heartbreaking news. My dad’s cancer came back a second time. I was heartbroken I cried so much that day. It was also the day my flight was leaving to get back to my mom. But little did I know I only had 13 days left with my mom. It was a good 13 days though we did all of our favorite things still, even though sometimes my mom had some health things that would get in the way she still stayed very strong. On her last night with me we watched movies and laughed like a normal night, no worries at all. Wake up the next day It wasn’t very normal. My mom was hurting. She wasn’t herself. About 30 minutes later I was like "We really need to call the ambulance!" I did just in time I thought, but a few seconds later my mom said she couldn’t breathe! I started crying and really scared and I called again. The paramedics got there not to long after. It got way too hard to stay, I couldn’t bear seeing my mom that way. So I stayed upstairs with a family friend. I had no shoes on, so she went downstairs to get them and she comes back up to tell me they are doing CPR on my mom.

I went outside and fell to the ground on my back crying. Knowing there was only two ways this could go. I was so scared. I wanted my mom to come back to me. About 30 minutes later I was sitting on the couch with my brother, waiting for my other brother to come to the house. The paramedics came up to say she was gone. I ran outside in shock and in disbelief. Its a day that I will never forget. I try not think about it, but I did get to talk to my dad that day, he comforted me and talked with me. I was thankful I at least had my dad.

It still wasn’t easy though We both lost our best friend that day. My buddy for 19 years was gone and there was nothing I could do about it, which really hurt. The void didn’t feel good. the wishing she was still here hurt, I was hoping it was a dream that I would wake up from.

I was a senior in high school at the time, I literally wanted nothing to do with school, I just gave up until something in me had a spark, saying "You don’t want to spend another year in high school your mom would want you to finish." She would want me to continue to live life. So I pushed myself and "boom!" As soon as I knew it, I was graduating high school, getting my driver's license, working at my first job and moving in to my own place!

I left one detail out. Eventually I met someone who gave me sparks! Who made me happy every time I saw him. Who would brighten up my day even still today and would make me laugh and smile!

Even though my life was looking up, life had to be funny again, It didn’t know how much was way too much. A month after graduation, I was in California visiting my best friend. On July 21st was the day I received a heartbreaking call, my dad lost his battle with cancer.

I cried... I wished I was there. The last thing I said to my dad was "I will call you back." I still have that guilt even today. Wishing I was there when he took his last breathe to say that I love him. My dad was the best. He was so strong, yes sometimes he would tell the truth and hurt my feelings but still I knew he loved me and wanted The best for me.

So you may wonder "how in the world did I cope with my tragedies?" You know I cried a lot, then got back up. Cried more and kept going. I started to do my music again (which helped). I wrote a song called "Battle In My Mind". I mentioned my mom In the song. It was before my dad passed. But music and my family and friends and the love of my life kept me going. Knowing I have a purpose. Knowing my mom and dad are no longer in pain.

I miss them. I still want them here with me. It is hard wondering and thinking what life would be like with them still here. What would they say and do? But out of all that I went through it made me who I am today, a strong woman!

But even before this happened to me, my parents taught me very well. Had very strong morals! So I am a living witness that, even when the unthinkable may happen in your life, there is still hope! Know your loved ones would want you to live for them and for yourself! Know that they are still with you, as long as you remember them.

Oh and remember the special person I met? He is soulmate and love of my life! We got married in Paris, France and we are living happily ever after with our puppy and amazing guinea pigs. Life will throw hits at you, but if you wait it out, it all gets 100% better. Trust me. I still cry, but I know they are still with me in my heart! The grieving process is very hard, but It does get better. “Even if your lonely, you're not alone.”

Never forgotten. The void will still be there. You can learn to cope and deal with it, but you will still have moments and thats okay! Stay strong and keep living for them and for you!