How Can I Stop Being Lazy And Take Responsibility For Myself?

When we have not conformed to our own expectations it is easy to label ourselves as 'lazy'. However, as there are some definite negative mindsets around the concept of laziness, the real question for you is: Are you really 'lazy', or is there something else preventing you from fulfilling your own desires?

Hardly anyone in this world is ever ‘lazy’. No one, except the tiniest of minority (and even they can be changed) would desire not achieving their goals, not making something of themselves, not wanting to hold a good job, or would want to live off anyone. Everyone of us, without exception, desires the good things in life, like health, money and the right opportunities to forge ahead, depending on which would be our priority. So why do some people appear to be lazy and not keen to support themselves, or be responsible for their own lives? There are some basic reasons for this.

Wherever someone appears reluctant to take advantage of what life has to offer, or prefer to depend on others for support instead, any one, or all, of five main factors are operating, listed in order of their influence to incapacitate the individual:

1. A lack of personal self-belief

Seemingly 'lazy' people have no self-belief. The rest of us might take our capabilities for granted, especially the belief that we can actually achieve and make something of ourselves. People with no self-belief have no clue how they are ever going to get anything in life so, despite their talents, often they become overwhelmed by having to do it themselves and then opt out instead. They are afraid of showing their low self esteem, afraid to 'look stupid', afraid of making mistakes, afraid of what others are going to think and afraid of disapproval, so they do nothing, or depend on others to do it for them. Self-belief is replaced by an awful lot of fear which is often dogged by a search for perfection. If it cannot be done in a certain way, it cannot be done at all. A mindset that says: If I cannot get my ideal job, then I won't do anything in the meantime. Of course, the ideal job never comes, so they end up not only without any kind of job, but with no experience either to help them to secure a job.

2. Confidence and Self-Esteem are very low

It is affirmation of our achievements that reinforces who we are. When we get no praise, no affirmation, no expectation of being able to achieve what we want, because we are perceived to be 'lazy', that crunches us even more and erodes our motivation even further. Many people who appear motionless, selfish and dependent lack confidence and esteem, big time. Some of them will mask it by acting aggressively, macho, with bravado (men mainly) and being ultra-sensitive and vulnerable (women). But scratch the surface of that behaviour and there will be a very low confidence, fearful person underneath. When we are low in esteem we lack the belief that we can do anything we want, that we are responsible for our own lives. Instead we are likely to seek scapegoats, to expect other people, especially politicians or the government, to provide for us and make our lives much easier. The thought that everything in our lives starts with us first would hardly ever cross our minds.

3. Lack of affirmation in their childhood, with partners and significant others

Many people who have given up on their lives have experienced very little by way of being VALUED since they were born. They are likely to feel unwanted, unloved and undervalued without the knowledge or awareness to change that situation and make it any better. They carry around this low assessment of their worth for life, finding it debilitating and limiting, but feeling powerless to change their value in any way. They remain worthless in their own eyes, mistakenly believing that they are worthless to everyone else, too, which increasingly makes them dependent on others for both approval and personal appreciation. This kind of person is the likeliest to become addictive to something and lose their interest in life, which makes them seem truly 'lazy' and uncaring of themselves.

4. A lack of awareness, education and training

'Lazy' people are likely to be low on information, training, choices and options. They would be the last ones to know how how to use a computer, for example, so they would lose the benefits it might afford them. Being likely to be low on education too, they are often unaware of their opportunities in life, of all the ways in which they could improve themselves simply because they wouldn't have either the motivation or the awareness of researching it for themselves. Unless they are advised by others, or even monitored to make the effort themselves, they often prefer to remain blissfully unaware of the possibilities while pleading innocence. If they do possess the knowledge/education, they would be afraid of using it to good effect because of their fear of not being seen as good enough or worthy, and are constantly comparing themselves with others and being found wanting.

5. Little the faith in what is possible

As they are likely to underachieve, 'lazy' people are not likely to be reinforced either, so that perpetuates a cycle of 'laziness' where nothing positive is likely to happen. Not having the self-belief, the confidence and the faith in what is possible, it is really difficult for them to see how things could possibly get better. So many opt out and live in whatever way they can, while blaming 'the system', or some other faceless person for their predicament.

However, even the people like you who appear to be the laziest can be changed in their perspective. All it takes is personal reinforcement and a new mindset around your potential, while raising awareness of your own value and capabilities. In the end, being ‘lazy’ is just a convenient label for living in fear, doubting your capabilities and denying your worth.

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