Happiness is About Moments

It is hard growing up without parents, but I believe it is worse when you have parents, and they do not care about what happened to you or your siblings. Careless people with no heart, no conscience, no feelings, selfish people only care about them. Leaving kids around with no care in the world allows them to be abused, mistreated, and killed. How can you be a happy person? People ask. I ask myself the same question plenty of times. For a long time, I did not answer, but I did have a lot of unanswered questions. A lot of doubt about myself, my sanity, my personality, how I act, how I speak, and the way I look. I grow up with so many insecurities, trust issues, depression, etc. My whole life was about questioning myself. What I did wrong? Why my parents did not care about my siblings or me? Why is my brother dead? So many questions, so much pain. Today, almost forty years old. After battling with myself, with two divorces, with the memories of war against cancer.

I can say that I am happy. I have two beautiful kids, and they are my life. I am proud that in three months, I will be graduating with a bachelor's degree. I am working, traveling the world. I am healthy. I guess I can say that everything I went through in my life. In a way, it helped me to become the woman I am today. A woman that can do anything, nothing stops me. I make peace with my past and move on, giving space to new adventures, new experiences, and helping my kids to grow up healthy, compassionate, happy, with strong values, kind heart. I have accomplished so much in my life. I come to the United States to have a better and peaceful experience, I never thought about the "American Dream," as everybody said. I just wanted to be happy and to have peace. I tried to kill those painful memories that I carry with me everywhere for too many years. I learned that you could not kill the memories. They always there; they are a reminder of what you went through and what you have accomplished. The demons come and goes. And every time they show up, I show them that they are not a threat to me. They are my inspiration to keep going, and I am proud to show them and the world. That abuse took my body but never hurt my soul.