Happiness

I have been thinking a lot lately about happiness and what it takes to be happy. I have always believed that happiness is a choice, that no matter your circumstances, we all have the ability to find happiness. I recognize that a lot of people either disagree with this, or choose to ignore it. I have absolutely gone through some hard times in my life, but in no way is what I have gone through any easier or any harder than other trials that other people have faced, and this is definitely not a paper about comparing trials.

When I tore my ACL for the second time, I remember getting in my mom’s car after physical therapy and I could not seem to fight back these tears. My mom looked over and saw me staring out the window with tears falling down my face. She then went on to ask me what was wrong. For a minute I could not really form words because was she crazy? What did she mean what was wrong? In my head it was more of a question of what is right in my life? I looked over and then my emotions let loose. I told her that I had nothing in my life to be happy about. Nothing was going right; I could not play soccer for a long while, I was stuck on the couch for a huge portion of my summer, and when I was not on the couch I was spending time at physical therapy rehabbing my knee, Colleges were not going to want me anymore, and I had no idea if I was physically or mentally going to be able to return to the game of soccer to the level I was at before. My mom did not say a thing. Not a single thing. As soon as we arrived home I crutched over to the couch where I spent a lot of my time after surgery that summer. I remember sitting there feeling really crappy about what I had said and how I was handling my trial. My mom then came downstairs and knelt next to where I was laying on the couch. She grabbed my hand and looked me in the eyes and said, “You have so many things in your life to be happy about, so many things to be grateful for. Happiness is a choice.” She walked away and I sat there thinking about that for the rest of the day. By no means did this completely turn the tables to the point where I was never frustrated with this trial I was given, but it helped me to stop and think each time I became negative about it.

Today I was thinking again about how people claim that they can’t be happy, no matter what they do or how hard they try. What about when you put your hair up after a long night? What about when little kids smile at you in public? What about showering and putting on your PJs before bed? What about when you nail all the words to a rap song absolutely perfectly? What about when your mom texts you and tells you she loves you? What about when you see a cute boy and he follows you on Instagram? How can you not choose to be happy when things like this happen all day all around us? I think that the world would be such a happier place if people would start to recognize how happy these small things are, but that, my friends, is what is so special. These things are happening all around us, all the time. We do not even have to work for a lot of these things, they just happen and it is up to us to open our eyes and see them.

I see so many people in my life that say they are not happy. I have had a really hard time with this. I do not know why I am struggling so badly with it, because it is not me or my happiness that is on hand. I think I am struggling with it because I have become so much more aware of the happy things in my life that I start to recognize them in other’s lives as well. With all of this being said, I do think that “happiness is a choice” is a bit oversimplified. Indeed, people struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues and conditions that make it super duper challenging to find this feeling of peace and happiness. Challenging, though, has never meant impossible. I firmly believe that happiness takes lots of choices that can be super hard to make. To be happy we have to make choices to accept ourselves and our struggles, to take responsibility for our mistakes, because they happen and mistakes are a normal part of life. We have to make the choice of choosing what is best for us and maybe not the easiest, but overall that is the whole point of why we are here. God gave us this agency to be able to CHOOSE right from wrong. I think that it is too often overlooked that he also gives us the agency to CHOOSE to be happy rather than sad. I know that our Heavenly Father could make everything go right in our lives so that we were always happy. I know he could. But imagine, if he did, happiness would not exist. Happiness would not exist if there was not an opposite emotion of feeling.

In closing, there is absolutely nothing that will make us happy unless we make the decision to let it. Nobody in this world can make us happy until we make the decision to let them. Happiness does not come to us, IT COMES FROM US.