Getting out of the Quicksand

Every year as the days wind down and the new year looms, I get asked that typical question, “So, what are your New Year’s resolutions?” I always give the same answer, “I never do New Year’s resolutions.” Honestly have you ever really followed through on a resolution that you made? You have you say, I admit I am skeptical. Look I get that there are some highly motivated people out there and these mythical figures may actually keep their resolutions. Let’s face it though, most people give it the good old college try for a few weeks and then slip back into their old patterns.

This year, I have been really examining my life, I have found myself in a bit of a rut. I am stuck in doubt filled quicksand and the more I struggle trying to break free the faster I get sucked down. These last couple of years have been hard for us all. I would like to say that the pandemic has played a part in this but honestly the pandemic has only been an enabler, not the cause of my troubles. The pandemic has kept me in my patterns of laziness, and my stagnation has just continued. So, this year, I was gearing up to break my rule and resolve to get down to business. I had all these grand ideas of starting the new year with resolutions designed to get me out of my rut.

However, the New Year's resolution problem is already rearing its ugly head. I am motivated… for like ten minutes but, then I just let myself slip into my not so great patterns. I feel like I am just letting the laziness rule. I never keep New Year’s resolutions why would I miraculously start now? In my head I had this plan, there is a little cheerleader yelling at me. “Get that butt moving, go go go. Raw Raw Raw. You got this,” and I’m like yea I totally got this. Then I spend thirty minutes staring at my not finished resume and suddenly I am thinking, I so totally do not got this.

Bring on the anxiety and self-doubt. Instead of trying to brow beat myself into submission, which has obviously not worked yet, I have decided to go down a new path. I am going to break my rule and create a resolution that works for me.

Originally, I was thinking the new year is coming and I need to start adulting it up. I need to get it together, get a job, work towards a better job and… That list could go on forever. I get anxious just thinking about it. That’s not really what I am going for here.

What I need is a new plan, a plan that empowers me instead of making me want to drink a beer and act like nothing is wrong. What I need is a quest and every quest has a hero.

Last year I received this fabulous journal it was called the Hero's Journal. (It looks like this):

My brother got it for me for Christmas and I loved it, I actually wrote in this journal everyday for longer than I have ever stuck with a journal. The new year is coming and it is time for my quest so, I ordered another one. This one is their new one, hero's journal magical academy.

I am going to use this journal to keep my New Year's resolution because I realized something. I AM the hero of my own story. My life isn't perfect and I am not batting a thousand but that doesn't mean I have no value. I am amazing. I am smart. I am beautiful. I have the tools I need to have a great life. This is going to be my plan for the new year. I am going to write in this journal everyday and try to find my center. No more freaking out, no more doubt. I just need to calm down and find my path. I, Katie Oswald the hero of my own story, hereby resolve to relax and get out of my own way!