From Ugly to Beautiful: Finding the Good in Tough Times

It's easy to feel down when things aren't going our way. We get rejected, we make mistakes, and we lose the things we love. It feels like the world is against us and that things will never get better.

In those darkest moments, it's easy to put on dark-tinted glasses and believe that the world is an unpleasant place. But just like the seasons, our lives are constantly changing and evolving. The key is to find beauty in every situation, even when it seems impossible.

When we look for the good, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and new perspectives. We start to see the world not as something that's out to get us, but as a place full of potential and opportunity. We realize that our hardships can make us stronger and that our pain can lead to compassion.

So the next time you're feeling down, take a step back and look for the beauty around you. It's there, even in the darkest of times. All you have to do is find it. But I won't leave you here. In this post, I'll share a few practical ways that you can learn to find good in 'ugly' things.

Be mindful of labels

One of the quickest ways to find beauty in tough times is to be mindful of the labels we put on ourselves and our experiences. We often label things as 'good' or 'bad,' 'right' or 'wrong,' but life isn't always so black-and-white.

For example, let's say you've just been laid off from your job. It's easy to label this experience as 'bad' and to see yourself as a failure. But if see things in a less extreme light, you might realize that this situation also comes with new possibilities. Maybe it's an opportunity to start your own business, start a blog, or pursue a long-held passion. Maybe it's a chance to spend more time with your family or to learn new skills.

The key is to avoid putting labels on our experiences because they often prevent us from seeing the good. Instead, try to look at each situation objectively and see what positive aspects it might have.

Apply 'The Work' by Katie Byron to a situation

The Work is a simple yet powerful method created by Katie Byron that can help us to find good in tough times. It's based on the principle that our thoughts create our reality, so if we change our thoughts, we can change our lives.

Her work is powerful because it forces us to confront the fact that what we believe doesn't always reflect clear reality. You can do the 'Work' in the following way:

Download the 'Judge Your Neighbor' worksheet from Byron Katie's site.

Also, download the other resources like the turnaround questions

Focus on a problem and write down your thought about it. For example 'I can never make a living from my passion because no one values art.'

Ask yourself the four questions:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?

Answering these questions and doing the 'Turnaround' will help you change your feelings and thoughts slightly. In time, you'll feel differently about your experiences.

It's worthwhile checking out Byron's work as a powerful way to find beauty in ugly things.

Roll with it

When you're going through a challenging business obstacle or troubles in your relationships or anything else, you're likely causing yourself more stress than you need to. How?

By wanting to change things and wishing that you weren't in a pickle, to begin with.

The key is to accept what is happening and to roll with it. This doesn't mean that you're resigned to your fate or that you don't want things to improve. It just means that you're not fighting against reality.

This can be a tough pill to swallow, but it's an important one. Because the more you resist what's happening, the more you'll suffer. So try to go with the flow and see what happens. You might be surprised at how things turn out.

Eventually, whether your performance at work is poor or if someone you love is mad at you, it won't last forever. Everything is temporary, so try to ride the wave and see what beauty lies on the other side.

Avoid extremes of thinking

There's another useful resource to help you reframe the way you think - the work of Albert Ellis - REBT or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. Ellis was a psychologist who developed a form of therapy to help people change their irrational thoughts.

One of the main principles of REBT is that we often make ourselves feel bad by thinking in extremes. For example, we might tell ourselves things like 'I can't stand this,' or 'This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me.'

These thoughts are not only irrational, but they're also unhelpful because they make us feel worse. They're forms of extreme thinking. Because if you're going through something hard like losing a client or a breakup - you are withstanding these things already. You're more upset by the thought 'I can't stand this'.

Catching yourself when you think in extremes is a great way to help you feel better. And it's something you can do on your own.

Seek silver linings

When you've learned to reframe negative thoughts, you're ready to pursue good ones.

This is where you start to look for the silver linings in tough times.

For example, if you're going through a difficult situation at work, you might tell yourself that it's an opportunity to learn and grow. If you've just been through a breakup, you might see it as an opportunity to find someone who is a better match for you.

It's not always easy to find the bright side of things, but it's worth looking for. Because when you do, you'll find that there is some beauty in even the ugliest of situations.

Final thoughts

Finding the good in tough times can be difficult, but it's worth it. Because when you do, you'll find that there is some beauty in even the ugliest of situations.

Use the tips here to help you find the silver linings in your life. And you can even overcome them to move in better directions than before. You might meet new people, become a course creator, manage your health, and much more.

So hang in there and keep looking for the good. It's out there.