Forgiveness

Honestly, it has taken almost a year to even put these words into circulation. I remember when writing this, I was working through the heartbreak of my century. It was one of those moments where the world stopped and everything hurt. Although I knew coming back to a state of homeostasis would take time, I knew that forgiving would have to be the first vestige to recovery. 

You may be familiar with this saying: "hurt people, hurt people" - which is quite true. However, during my season of growth, I personally witnessed the effects of not having a forgiving sense of self.

Lacking compassion for self can be harmful. The only way to elevate in life is to accept the past and evaluate the present in order to shape your future. Therefore, between health, anxiety, pressure at work, and having to navigate the ever-changing social landscapes with friends, family, and love interests, it is important to learn how to move through life despite the sometimes stressful environments and situations we may find ourselves in. But hey, I get it! Life can get a little "life-y" and people can become "people-ly" at times. That's why it is important to incorporate moments of peace and tranquility throughout your day.

At some point in everyone's life, something is going to inevitably cause stress. That part is common. Now what is important is understanding how to combat such unwarranted instances when they surface. Whether positive or negative, shifting your perception changes your mood. Positive thoughts vibrate at a higher level - which in turn, leads to a calmer state of mind. Never let the negativity or toxic energy around you weigh you in your decision-making. Remember, you are not a map - you are not responsible for carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.

We tend to easily forget that we are capable of manifesting the change that we envision. In order to move forward, swap negativity with rational, positive thoughts. Learn to identify negative thoughts to diminish the negativity as soon as it enters your mind, but understand that everything has its own process. Take it one step at a time. Start by learning to accept 'what is'. It is ok to accept and to feel the emotions that may be evoked after certain stressors surface. However, you have to push yourself to shift the atmosphere and create a better internal mood. Feel, then heal. The times that you become overwhelmed and stressed are the times where silence is key. Practice shutting down the alarms that are going off in your mind. Speak and listen to yourself. Talk to the Creator. Ask and wait, while keeping in mind that fear is an illusion.

With consistent practice, this shift will become automatic - a no-brainer. This will eventually shape new thinking habits and evoke more positive emotions. So remember to stay in the present and realize the kinds of power that can manifest through your thoughts, intentions, and words. Deciding to be happy is a choice.

Now check this out ...

We have all experienced hurt in our lives. Whether it was caused by something we did to someone else, something someone did to us, or something we have done to ourselves - we have all felt it. 

Never let anyone tell you how you should feel or never feel bad for feeling a certain way. You feel how you feel, and you cannot help that you feel that way, but understanding the 'why' and addressing it in the correct manner goes a long way. It's cliche, but true - it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Accept the situation, evaluate the situation, and pay attention to the words, actions, thoughts, intentions that come from such a situation. That was a little out of the way, but I felt like that needed to be said ... So there! I said it! Feel, then heal! ... Just do it the healthy way.

To overcome whatever situation may have caused the hurt, we must forgive – whether it is forgiveness towards others or towards self. Forgiveness is not a weakness. It is a choice to rise above the temptation to go down the slippery slope of sadness so that you can experience true emotional and mental freedom.

When we have to forgive ourselves it’s normal and it’s okay to feel guilty, but it’s important to do something about that guilt, because that emotion isn’t enough to remedy the situation. What matters more than feeling bad is making an effort to work through the feelings and/or pressing matters. Remember, you can feel how you feel, but not without taking action. If you don’t take action, you’re just allowing yourself to wallow in that emotion. Forgiving yourself is, in some cases, harder than forgiving someone else; however, it is just as important. Remember that even though a mistake was made, it doesn’t mean you should punish yourself. It just might be the time to do some soul-searching and make amends with self. Whatever negative emotion that surfaces, redirect it. It serves no purpose, no foundation, and no good use for the productive and successful life that is to come. Stay brave and focus on continuing to create a life of peace.

Positive Statements

If there is anything that stands out to you, repeat these phrases daily, and create your own statement that resonates with you.

• “Difficult does not mean impossible…”

• “A new day means new thoughts. New thoughts bring new strengths. New strengths result in new possibilities.”

• "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

• “It’s okay to be scared. Being scared means you’re about to face something that will make you brave.”

• “How can you be afraid to feel? Isn’t fear a feeling? If you’re feeling fear, you’ve felt one of the most negative emotions there is to feel. Everything else should be a piece of cake.”

• "Stay positive; all other choices are pointless punishments to [yourself]."

• “Sometimes the worse place you can be is in your own head.”

• “Do not be afraid of love or the course it will take. There is no certainty in life. Choose love first and choose love last and it will give you more than you ever give it.”

• "Reduce the speed and intensity to reduce stress. A flower blooms slowly, in calmness, and in serenity."

• "You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you."

• "Tough times never last, but tough people do."

• “You have dug your soul out of the dark, you have fought to be here; do not go back to what buried you.”

• "Worrying doesn’t stop the bad stuff from happening. It just stops you from enjoying the good stuff."

• “Everything you need will come to you at the perfect time.”

• “I am in competition with no one. I run my own race. I have no desire to play the game of being better than anyone. I just aim to improve, to be better than I was before.”

• “Don’t wait to pray until you need something. Pray and be thankful every day for your blessings.”

• “Don’t allow other people to hold the key to your peace of mind.”

• “Today’s a perfect day for a whole new start. Let go of fear and free your mind. It’s time to open your heart.”

• “I’ve decided to be happy because it is good for my health.”

• “A quiet mind is able to hear intuition over fear.”

• “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened.”

• “If the problem can be solved, why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will do you no good.”

• “My body needs laughter as much as it needs tears. Both are cleansers of stress.”

• “If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.”

• “Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask [yourself] if you want to be a prisoner of the past of a pioneer of the future.”

• “Stress and anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”

• “You can’t always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside”

• “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”

• “Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.”

• “Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in.”

• “Everything you need will come to you at the perfect time.”

Daily Affirmations

When introducing positive affirmations into your daily routine, be careful to not speak unrealistically. In doing so, such statements could actually trigger more anxiety as your subconscious strives to reach certain perfections or reach goals that one may not mentally be prepared to believe or is unrealistic to life (e.g., “Everyone will like everything that I do.”). Focus on realistic and true statements that are also positive (e.g., “Everyone may not like what I do, but what I do, I do it well.”). Affirmations are more powerful when rooted in reality, and work in any aspect of life (e.g., work, family, relationships, self, goals, etc.). Repeat what resonates with you daily throughout the day. Verbalize your affirmations. Repeat your affirmations. Visualize your affirmations. Believe your affirmations.

•I will be OK.

• If it’s to be, it begins with me.

• I am going to focus on things I love to get me through this.

• I forgive everyone in my past for all perceived wrongs and release any negative emotions.

• The more challenges I face, the closer I am to my goal(s) – don’t get discouraged!

• Every day I feel and display more confidence in myself.

• The picture in my head is not healthy. That is just me being negative.

• This is not the end of the world. I’m just uncomfortable. I’ll make it through this.

• Forgiveness gives power.

• I will not stress over anything I cannot control.

• I am always guided and know that what is for me will not pass me.

• My unique and creative talents and abilities flow through me.

• The past is gone. I live only in the present.

• I only attract healthy people into my life

• When this is over, I will be proud of myself.

• I am worthy of love and deserve to receive love in abundance.

• Today I wake up filled with gratitude.

• I will begin my day with clarity, confidence, and faith.

• If I keep going, it will get easier.

• I do not confuse people from my past with people in the present.

• I am successful at whatever I choose.

• I deserve happiness, I deserve love, I deserve peace.

• Taking deep breaths soothe me.

• Don’t sweat the small stuff (it’s all small stuff).

• Back up my talk with actions. 

• I control how I react to negative situations.

• I am excited about what this day will bring and all the opportunities I am about to create.

• Today I will give love and spread positivity.

• Harsh words and tones bounce off of me.

• I will not let unkind emotions, words, or actions determine my happiness.

• I face negative and critical people with kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and positivity.

• I am talented and resourceful beyond belief.

• Forgiveness is a gift to myself.

• I am confident and calm in the face of criticism.

• I can work with anyone and remain positive.

• I attract loving and caring people into my life.

• The universe has big plans for me.

• I have big plans for me.

• I release all stress and criticisms towards myself and forgive.

• When people are being rude, I will still have a great day.

• I can make a change at any time.

• I open my heart to love and know that I deserve it.

• My light shines. I am divine.

• I enjoy the work that I do, and I do good work.

• I am attracting my dream future.

• I grant myself permission to forgive.

• I am confident, self-assured, and full of charisma.

• I exhale negativity and inhale happiness.