Forgiveness Is Not for Them...It's for You

I have worn hurt and resentment across my chest like a badge of honor. I have pulled the scabs off of old wounds myself just so others could see that I was bleeding. From the shadows, I would point in the direction of my offender and prosecute them over and over for a crime that they had committed years prior all because I refused to forgive.

I felt like forgiving them for the hurt that they had caused me would mean that they had gotten away with some type of heinous crime. I wanted them to never forget because I would never forget. Holding on to all the bad memories seemed to be much easier than setting them free. My hurt and I were friends, I carried it with me where ever I traveled and had learned to live in harmony with it by my side. I was completely oblivious to the damage that I was causing not only myself but to those around me.

Then one day I realized that not only was I wearing hurt and resentment like a badge but I was proudly wearing my past too. Lugging it around like I was the bag lady, completely unaware of how this was affecting my present. This affected my relationships. This affected my friendships. This affected the decisions that I made. This baggage affected my life more than I cared to admit. I also realized that there was only one way to empty my bags and that was to: Forgive.

Forgiveness is not for the person that you are forgiving. Forgiveness is for you.

Does the person that you are angry with even know that you are angry with them? Here you are walking around with this bag full of grudges and resentment and the person that you are holding them for may not even know. You are not hurting them...you are only hurting yourself.

Forgiveness allows you to take back your power. When we house anger and resentment toward another person, we are allowing them to have control over us. Once we forgive the person that wronged us, we release the hold that they had over our emotions. They are no longer a trigger for you and your emotions are yours to control once again.

Forgiveness allows us to let go of the past and live in the present. If we are constantly thinking about yesterday, we are never fully able to live in the moment. We are missing out on the gifts that the present is trying to give us. Forgive what is behind you and welcome what's in front of you. Trust me, your vision will be much clearer.

Forgiveness has its health benefits. Once you let go of resentment and anger you will begin to feel lighter mentally and emotionally. Holding on to hurt also takes a toll on your body that you may not even be aware of. It makes you tired and possibly even lose sleep. According to the Mayo Clinic, deliberate letting go of negative emotions, particularly those that are strong and have been linked to forgiveness brings with it plenty of health benefits, including improved relationships, decreased anxiety and stress, lower blood pressure, a lowered risk of depression, and stronger immune and heart health.

Forgiveness is just simply letting go of emotional baggage by removing negativity that came from prior hurt. Just because you choose to forgive doesn't mean that you will forget, it just means that you refuse to allow hurt, anger, and resentment to have dominion over your life any longer. Forgiveness does not mean that what the person did was okay or that you are condoning wrongdoing. Forgiveness allows you to be better for yourself and the ones that you love. Forgiveness also makes you lose weight, so drop those bags and forgive them.

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