Forget “Should” and Live the Life You Want to Live

"Being alone in a world that is always trying to do something else is a wonderful thing." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was a time when I had everything.

I was in my tenth year of teaching at a small, rural school. I lived with my husband and my daughter in a four-room house in a wooded area. Life was normal, predictable, and secure. We made plans to renovate the house and saw that I could work from my job until my retirement.

However, two things have disrupted those plans.

First, I felt this ongoing violence. My work gradually became more and more pressing, and I was angry at the seemingly unimportant commitment of time.

I arrived home in a house that needed constant care. Cleaning and yard work has not brought me as much happiness as I have spent so many hours filling out my paperwork. I started to back off in both places, which only increased the amount of pressure.

After that we started sailing. The day we unloaded our 25-foot [9 m] boat at Lake Huron, everything changed. We loved the small space. We loved the united seafaring community. We loved going.

We loved it so much that we stayed in the boat and sailed for ninety-three days in the summer of 2012. At the end of the summer, I returned to work physically, but mentally I was miles away, still on the beach.

That's when we decided to move. My tenth year of teaching in a rural school was my last year in the north. My last year living in a house.

We packed our luggage at Volvo station and headed south. We traveled 1,800 miles [1,300 km] to Houston, where we began a new life. In August 2014, we sold our house on a 35-foot [35 m] boat, appropriately called the Breaking Tradition.

We are separated from the text that everyone thinks they should follow if they want to "succeed." We have no property. We showered with water in the bathroom, and we never had an oven for our first year living inside. My husband and I started sleeping together on twin mattresses.

And yet, we have never been happier this way. Instead of doing chores around the house or in the yard, we walk to the harbor. Instead of spending the whole day in the house, we sit back and talk to our neighbors. Everyone keeps cookies in his boat, in case my daughter arrives.

Your dream may not be to leave everything behind and stay in the boat. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the luxury of a home. Is it possible, though, that meetings that we take for granted will be delayed? Is there something you do just because you “have to do it”?

Here are some of the lessons I learned, about living a life without script:

1. Reflect on “success.”

The biggest lesson I learned from our journey was to ask everything we think we need to do to be successful.

"Success" is a non-verbal, meaningless word in itself. What is the point of “succeeding” if it hurts your happiness? Spending less time working and worrying about material gain can free up your energy for the things that matter most to you.

2. Do not be a slave to "safety."

I have met so many people who live a simple life because they think that their situation is “safe.” But this is a hoax. Anyone can lose their job at any time, and limiting your experience to try to avoid this is absurd.

Rely on your ability to solve problems, rather than allow fear to paralyze you.

3. Spend your energy on the things that matter to you.

Do you like to take care of the yard? Is home ownership important to you? How important is such a large payment? Ask yourself what you like instead of just doing things because you deserve them.

This is your life, and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s all an option, even if you think it’s not.

4. Don't be afraid of change.

I loved my teaching career in the north when I first started. And that made it very difficult to leave. So many of us look at our current situation, where the only guaranteed thing in life is change.

I'm out of the house, and I may not stay in the boat forever. Move through the flow of life rather than resisting it. Be prepared to move forward when it is time.

5. Look at what the judgment is.

If you do the opposite, you will likely face criticism. But understand that other people's names mean nothing to you.

When someone criticizes or judges your decisions, they only show their misunderstanding. It is the unprotected person who judges the other person’s choice.

6. Don’t be afraid to fail.

Like “success,” “failure” is also a meaningless word that has no meaning. Temptation and error are the way we are taught naturally, so making mistakes is inevitable.

When we attach a loaded word, “failure” to our mistakes, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to learn from experience. Things may not always go as planned, and you may change your course as you go. All of this is part of the process and you have nothing to worry about.

In our journey, we have faced many trials and tribulations. I have negotiated jobs that have no results. I have made many mistakes by starting my own business. We had a boat repair that did not go as planned. Last winter, leaky windows filled our room with mold!

Also, each mistake led to a great learning experience. After all, we live the life we ​​once dreamed of in the past, and we spend our time with friends who share our love.