Forget Mondays & Januarys

By now, you've likely listed all the different ways to transform your life for 2022. Whether it's to become healthy, meet new friends, start your own business, adopt a pet, drink less, or smile more: Most people use this time to reflect on the past and plan for the future.

So why does this burning motivation for self-improvement quickly simmer down come February? Might we set the bar too high and jump to negative conclusions? Or maybe it's our obsession with needing fast results? All I know is, I'm tired of the mindset of Mondays & Januarys.

The pressure to suddenly have a new routine, habits, schedule, body, perspective, and everything else for the "brand new year" needs to go. It clouds our judgment, decreases our quality of life, and makes us depressed. In the past, I've been uber-committed to my goals and looked back to realize my mistake. I had let too much of a good thing turn into a negative.

If you set a goal to improve your life, make sure it improves your quality of life. There are times you have to ask yourself where to draw the line. For instance, excessive tracking, obsessive behaviors, or irrational thinking are red flags. We have more to offer as human beings than checkmarks, numbers, and results. Stay balanced by remembering that a self-improvement journey has little value without a good dose of self-compassion.

One trick is to dig a little deeper with yourself. Like asking, what unequivocally matters to me? How can I break my goals into small steps over time? How hard am I on myself if I don't meet what I set out to do? Are my reactions being helpful or hurtful? How can I best support my mental health while I strive for change? Are there any groups offering related advice and support? How can I get rid of the January mindset, or in other words, the feelings of added pressure we all face and then internalize?

A plan started on Tuesday with the right supportive actions is a plan that will outlive a perfectionist's Monday. Every time.

In a world where everyone wants to live their best life, many get stuck in the goal process itself. Once a goal is chosen, it needs supportive action. If your goal is to drink more water, it makes sense to buy a water bottle to carry and to set reminders for yourself.

The next step is to set small goals over time. New habits take time to become routine. Take this study for example, which was published in the European Journal of Social Psychology by Phillippa Lally. Lally is a health psychology researcher at University College London. Her team set out to test the theory of the time required to form a habit. Here's what they found:

"On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In Lally's study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit."

-James Clear, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, Atomic Habits. [https://jamesclear.com/new-habit]

That's a stark difference from the popular belief that it takes three weeks to create a new habit. Instead of expecting change immediately, allow an adjustment period as you get used to trying something new.

Self-care is anything but selfish. Here are 10 ideas to get you started:

1. A 5 minute guided meditation

2. Write a letter to yourself 3 months from now. Include encouraging messages, your thoughts, and your desires for the time ahead. Date it and reopen it after 90 days.

3. Take a night to destress: facial masks, bubble bath, books, aromatherapy. Or a movie night in with your friends in comfy PJ's.

4. Join a local community you've always been curious about i.e. Yoga Studio.

5. Visit a nature park and commit to a weekly walk, invite a friend to join you.

6. Take advantage of your work breaks. Go for a walk, call someone, get away from the cubicle. Go a step forward and use a PTO day all to yourself.

7. Try a sensory deprivation tank.

8. Find a local therapist or Life Coach and schedule an appointment.

9. Unplug & log off for some time. Notice how you feel afterward.

10. Purge your closet, cleanse your areas. Take boxes to donation centers.

So when you decide to commit to living well. Choose healthy supportive action, set small goals over time, practice self-care, accept imperfection, and you will find long-lasting success.