Finding closure

"You hurt me."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"I'm not sure how we could ever get past this."

"I know. A lot has happened. Maybe we could just, sit down and talk?"

"Okay."

... Too bad it isn't actually that simple.

Not like in the movies where you see two people solving their issues by talking and crying it out. Being amongst the many people who has struggled with finding closure from various life situations - using writing to cope - I know that letting go of the past and moving forward can be a real challenge.

People in conflict with each other often struggle to understand their own faults or each other's perspective. Therefore, expecting closure from somebody who you feel has hurt you, most likely won't satisfy your expectations.

BUT. Don't let that discourage you, because YOU can find closure within yourself. I personally have so much of my past to let go of - which I've talked about on my YouTube channel - and am here to give tips from my experience to help you on your journey to closure.

Tip #1

Accept the fact that it's over.

Whether that be a relationship, friendship, any connection. Recognize that it has ended and you have no control over it anymore, neither does it have control over you.

Tip #2

Recognize all the wrongs done by all parties. (Don't dwell on them, but remember them.) Without this awareness, you risk getting sidetracked by the good memories which will then overshadow all the bad. There's no sense in repeating the same footsteps when you can sprint towards growth.

But,

Tip #3

Don't beat yourself up. You can't change the past, so why beat yourself up over mistakes?

"Oh but maybe I should've done this."

What makes you think it would've been different? What sense is there in trying to figure out the inevitable? What's done is done.

Therefore,

Tip #4

Don't try to formulate answers for dead-end questions.

"If I had done this, maybe that wouldn't have happened?"

Stop that.

If the universe doesn't have the answer, why would you?

Stop and learn that you have to accept the unknown sometimes.

Tip #5

Everything is a process. You have a right to take as much time as you need to recover. Weeks, months. Feel everything you gotta feel.

Anger, sadness, triumph, regret, relief, whatever. Don't limit your emotions.

Tip #6

Go at your own pace. Don't judge your healing process or let people shame you for taking "too long" to get over it. Do what you have to do, because only you can understand your feelings and how you heal.

Tip #7

Eventually. Accept that nothing will change the past. Dwelling on it will never benefit you as it won't effect anything but you. You can only advance mentally and physically without it. Whatever happens in the past stays in the past. There's no controlling it.

And lastly,

Tip #8 (optional)

Write it out.

In a journal, a song, or a book - like me:) Sometimes having your thoughts down on paper can be a great way to channel your emotions freely, especially if you're not ready to talk. Do anything you can that feels right and that you know will help you.

The way to prosperity is by finding that peace within yourself and using past situations to learn and move forward. Whatever is causing you hurt is another step into the beautiful human being that you’re growing to be every day.

With good things comes the bad, as without it, we wouldn't learn as much as we know today about ourselves and others.

This all just contributes more to your strength.

I recognize your efforts, so keep pushing through these rough patches. Some good things are awaiting you.

💪

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I plan on being more active on my account:) Here are other places where you can find me:

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