Ending Toxic Productivity!

I am done. I cannot stress this enough. I am done!

No more working through an unobtainable list of things that I’ve told myself I need to do to somehow validate myself and my time. No more feeling like a failure for missing another HITT session because burpees repress human joy. No more beating myself up for not using my time to the fullest of my productivity.

I’m just going to say it once more for the people at the back who may not be paying attention because their busy trying to finish writing their memoir and trying to cram in a Mandarin lesson AND trying to obtain some sort of faux success so their social media followers can confirm their productivity. Hear me. I am done! And be honest, you are too.

Toxic productivity is at a high. Scroll through social media for two minutes, I guarantee someone has just launched a new Etsy business or suddenly become Mozart on the piano. And then you feel like absolute garbage because you’ve just spent two minutes scrolling through your phone, watching everyone else living their fullest and best lives when you could have been taking a course in web design that you’ve had in your tabs for the past six months.

It’s a constant flow of not feeling enough. Because whatever you achieve, it somehow feels like the world is achieving more, and faster. It undermines your achievements. And you end up feeling like a failure. I do this all the time. But no more my virtual friends!

I am going to start feeling overwhelmingly chuffed, proud, over the moon with myself for just getting out of bed in the morning. When I finish a series on Netflix that gives me nothing but joy, instead of feeling bad that I didn’t use that time to send out some emails… nope, no, no way, I am going to praise myself that I validated my time with something that gives me joy instead of wasting my precious pleasure time on this earth trying to do something that I’ve been somehow taught should be done.

You should NOT be feeling bad for doing anything that brings you happiness (and yes I've underlined this for emphasis).

There are only twenty-four hours in a day. We spent eight (hopefully) of them sleeping, probably one of them eating, maybe one showering/getting ready, then probably another seven of them either working or studying or some form of work, leaving you with a maximum, at best, of seven hours at your disposal. Those seven hours, from now on, from this very second, are only going to be spent on things that I absolutely, overwhelmingly want to do. And that includes doing nothing.

Nothing is a thing. Nothing is a beautiful thing, and you do not have to feel any guilt for not feeling like doing a damn thing, because doing nothing is absolute bliss.

Now don’t get me wrong, some pleasures come from traditionally productive things. And that’s fine. I get pleasure from writing. I get pleasure from being creative. I get pleasure from learning new things. I get pleasure from working out (sometimes). But what I am no longer doing, no more, nope, n to the o, is forcing myself to do these things because I’ve somehow got it into my subconscious that if I don’t write today, if I don’t be creative, learn something, do a workout, then I’ve failed.

Failure is a lie. It’s a made-up concept. Success is a lie. Neither of these things can be obtained because we are all successes and failures. One cannot be without the other. No person is solely one of these things. So, I am removing these from my brain vocabulary. In fact, accept this as my formal resignation of the terms "failure" and "success". It no longer is a thing that I will allow myself to indulge in understanding.

You’ve failed? Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t understand what that word means.

She’s a big success! Apologies sir, but what is that word you just mentioned? In fact, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

It’s time to prioritise two words above all others. Those words are joy and misery. Nothing to prove or showcase to the world. Nothing to do for others in order to obtain approval that you are doing well. I’m going to keep things simple from now on. If something brings me joy, then I’m going to do it, and bathe in it, without a single regret. If it brings me misery, even the slightest morsel of misery, then I will be showing it the door.