Encourage Change Every Day

With the inception of Covid-19 in 2020, there was a lot of writing going on that year. In March 2021, The New York Times published Still Stuck at Home? It Might Be Time to Work on That Novel: Online writing groups have thrived during the pandemic, with membership fueled by more time at home and fewer to no social obligations.

And here we are into 2022. My plan for this year moving forward actually began in the spring of last year when I took early retirement to write full-time.

You can talk and talk, but written words are so much more effective when you want to influence change of any kind. Because I believe there's power behind words, I'll be writing my way to influence positivity in a world that needs more of it.

Kindness is your friend

I write and read from sunrise to sunset. I like to be redundant with everything positive because, like a child who needs to be reminded to be nice, big people in their grown-up clothes need reminders too.

I want to fill the world with stories with an underlying message of helpfulness and kindness.

Be nice. Be kind. Stop judging others. Smile every single day. Repeat daily until these actions just cannot help but become a part of who you are.

You can have a dream too

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s I Have a Dream speech is the most powerful speech I have ever read or listened to, and its intent is for all time, not just to be revisited every January.

Dr. King's words are a blanket to comfort, raise, and restore people. If you have never read or listened to his speech, make the time to read it. Don't exclude yourself from Dr. King's powerful emotive words.

With the understanding that words in themselves can change a person's thoughts on any subject, writing to me is all about promoting positivity in words across the board. My dream is to see more and more people embrace peace, happiness, and tranquility. With these, kindness naturally follows.

For me, there is never a better time to use language to promote more kindness in the world than right now. And if you believe the language on a tee-shirt you might have, "let change begin with me," rings truth, then it's time to initiate some positive action to promote change. Maybe you've been promoting change too.

Be kind by example

An act of kindness costs nothing. A kind word within a random act of kindness is free. The price? Nothing. It comes down to what you say and what you do. Spread it like gossip.

It doesn't matter what the person sitting next to you thinks. What matters is the outcome. I love to cultivate kindness and positivity.

Everything you say and do is an active influence on everyone around you whether it's a family member, a co-worker, your neighbor, or even a stranger.

I want to stimulate kindness and inclusivity through the power of language

Recently, I wrote a piece to celebrate Black History Month. I received one feedback that said, "why isn't there a White History Month?" White history is taught daily in schools. I didn't respond to the comment because there was no thinking involved with the question.

The unnecessary comment bothered me for a couple of hours.

Are we afraid to discuss history that's equally important due to skin color? I could have responded with, "apparently, you haven't heard about the incident in Tulsa," but sometimes no response is the best response.

When I was growing up as a product of what society saw as a white father and an Asian mother, it never occurred to me my parents had an interracial marriage or that my mother was "different" until I matured.

Uplifting stories and articles of interest can reinforce inclusivity. Stories having a lasting positive effect help bring people together in their thinking and in their communities. I believe, though, stories and lessons teaching what is right and good in the world start from the cradle.

You don't have to be an expert to write about the value of kindness.

We get too distracted by what's going on in our lives and forget about the simple random acts of kindness that we can pay forward.

I used to say that people will stand in line to buy a lottery ticket, but they can't say hello to their neighbors. I've already made it a point to talk to my neighbor across the street more often. In fact, the neighbors know if her door is open, it's an open invitation to come over for a chat and some coffee.

I also have a friend who checks in on her 101-year-old neighbor who lives across the street from her house. Kindness lives.

Just be there

I'm one of those people who can be called anytime when someone has a problem.

Because I don't drive to a 9 to 5 office anymore, I get to slow down. I get to stop rushing. I notice people who might need help at the store. I say hello more often. I catch up with old friends.

I watch what's going on around me so I can write about it.

I have been through a drive-thru on more than one occasion where the person handing me my food and taking my money is rude or crabby. I always ask if the day was a bad one. That usually turns the tone around and sometimes I start to hear the story of what's going on. Maybe they just needed someone to give a quick listen. When people are unhappy, I care.

The more kind acts we engage in, the more kind we feel. If you want to feel kind, you have to act kind.

Be a volunteer

Do some research where you live to see if there are any organizations that provide services in your community such as feeding people. I've had the experience of volunteering in a soup kitchen and I will tell you it's very humbling. I've also volunteered at a food bank to help, see how the operation works, and learn about its history.

One of the most rewarding experiences I had was being a four-year volunteer for Lead to Read, a non-profit organization to help students improve their reading skills. I worked with second graders on both reading and English skills.

There are easy actions you can take to help people, and when you help the people in your community, they receive the benefit of your time and generosity. Feeling joy is your reward.

Random Acts of Kindness

When someone gets in front of you in a line at a grocery store, do what I do, just smile at the person. If you think about it, the action of the person cutting in front of you invites a judgment, and it's a judgment that you don't need to give in to--that's why I say just smile. Think of your smile as a random act of kindness. Don't respond to negativity with more negativity.

Someone's inconsiderate actions may invite your inconsiderate responses, but being unkind is not the way to change the world. Nothing is a big deal until it really is.

My mother used to have the book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson. Honestly, I wish I wrote that book. That's the kind of book to raise awareness and lift positivity. Sadly, Carlson, a psychotherapist, and motivational speaker passed away when he was only 45.

Another favorite of mine is by Robert Fulgham. Even though it was published in 1986, the message is simple and clear. All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten basically discusses how the world could be a better place if adults would practice the same rules their children are learning like being kind to each other.

Both books above promote positivity and are examples of how the power of writing can influence change.

If you want the world to change, you have to be an active participant

When you're driving to work, don't yell at the person who cut in front of you. It's not productive. Think first and act accordingly.

Have you noticed how good you feel when you say something kind to someone?

Have you noticed when you give joy to someone, it quickly bounces back to you? That's why the act of giving positive reinforcement is important.

In my working experience in law firms, I grew more aware of racism. In my second job, it was whispered to me not to let one of the partners ever know that I was part Asian. Another person told me a joke involving an Asian person, but she used a slang term. When she was finished, I said, "well, that was actually kind of funny, and did you know I'm half Asian?" She was mortified because she lacked awareness and wasn't thinking.

I also witnessed an emotional experience my mother had with a racist remark. It was very difficult not to carry words of disgust towards the person who told her, "why don't you just go back to where you came from?"

I wanted to punch him but decided to not give in to his ignorance, lack of civility, and awareness instead.

He was after all talking to my mother. I suddenly understood why my mother who was Asian-American befriended African-Americans. I will say here it's always been uncomfortable for me to refer to a person by color, i.e., being white, black, tan, or whatever. I refer to people as people. For example, I don't say, "I'm going to have lunch with two of my white friends." Do you say that? What's the point of making a distinction? I also don't invite someone over and tell others, "oh, I've invited someone over who isn't white, is that okay?"

Even one of my granddaughters has asked me, "Is it okay to have a friend with brown skin? Because I do." She is 7 and she's already aware of racism.

How will 2022 be any different?

I will continue including everyone in a conversation or event whether their skin is pink or purple. Skin color does not define a person, their character does.

I have a dream my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

(Excerpt from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s I Have A Dream speech.)

Because racism lives, I will do my part in acknowledging all people are human beings with a set of emotions equally important, whether their skin is any shade of brown, any shade of white, freckled, visually pigmented, or scarred. I am not a surface person and see people with the contents of their hearts and actions.

Every single person deserves kindness. I'm not inviting the forms of semantics with that statement. I'm saying, generally, every single person regardless of age, religion, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation deserves respect, warmth, kindness, and civility.

You can spread kindness and separate yourself from those who cultivate the practice of exclusivity, or you can continue to spread hate and tear human beings apart.

Today, you can be a part of a dramatic positive change in a world we share, a world where children deserve to experience unconditional love, influence, growth, and prosperity. It doesn't have to be complicated.

Make the right choice.

Thank you for reading.

© Cathy Coombs