Emotional Mirrors

We can’t all have something in common, we all vary in our individual ways. Last year, though, it’s like most people experienced things that changed their life, and changed their personalities. I felt connected to people all around the world, we for the first time in my lifetime, had a worldwide experience. Last year was full of unprecedented changes in my life, most that have led to positive change.

A lot of people consider 2020 to be historically horrible, although for me it wasn’t too horrible, it was definitely historic. While life lessons were laying themselves upon me, a lot of personal goals were reached and that’s a little scary sometimes, for me at-least. I sure felt a lot of heat last year, lots of social tension, I didn’t handle it the best. 2020 really showed me where I am most vulnerable, opened me to personal challenges I wasn’t aware of, one that became very prominent, anger.

I wasn’t red faced all year, but I didn’t really understand how to handle my anger and frustrations with the world.

As I enter a new year, trying to comprehend how so much happened in the last, it still feels like a rug got pulled out from under me, I’m trying to keep in mind where I want to progress. I have a big goal this year, in my house this is the year of the barn... We’re going to build a barn this year, but to get there I know I need to handle myself better.

Besides the barn, I have a dedicated goal to handle my anger with grace. Being frustrated is a normal emotion, and just like most emotions it wants to be expressed, there just aren’t too many ways I know to express my anger in a healthy manner.

So here we go, a new year a few crucial changes, still same capitalistic world. But, I have goals. Long term goals that I know I can only reach by being graceful with myself. Let my emotions roll so they won’t jam things up later. Each year brings me closer to my path, even though I don’t know exactly where I’m going it’s in favor of the Earth and humanity.

Last year was historic, and it really pushed me to get to know myself better. Last year gave me a lot of gifts, the one I’m most thankful for is a stabilized confidence, learning I can count on myself when shit hits the fan, but with that came other emotional challenges. I don’t expect to be perfect, but I do hope to stop being the cause of most my problems, to stop stalling my passions.

I have so many visions with this year, and so many years to come. I feel very hopeful about the state of the world, and I look forward to adding my positive influence. To be able to share positivity, I first need to learn how to access it in myself. Amongst all the chaos that was 2020, I lost touch with my positivity, now it feels more like an old friend. Leaving a gap in my life that was filled with anger when I was too busy not paying attention.

2021 is the year of the barn, but more personally it’s the year of grace. It’s the year of soothing my fire. Caring for myself so I can give the best I have to the world. My brain is vulnerable to what’s going on around me, what the people I surround myself with are giving to the world, and I never saw it so clearly until the end of 2020.

This year, and the next coming years, I’m taking on the small practices. The things that never seem like they help, but when I do them, it’s a game changer. When I feel the anger towards society, I want to practice taking the deep breath, slowing down my thoughts, and channeling it in a beneficial way.

Where does anger come from? For me it comes from my passions, passions I feel being directly blocked or oppressed by other people. There’s truly no greater way to waste passion than to let it melt into anger, I spent a lot of time letting that happen. The mark of new year, and the astrologic influence aligned my thoughts more clearly. Why do I let my passion turn to mold? This year I aim to be more direct with my passion and to utilize it before it turns into anger.