Don't Worry

Growing up, I was put down constantly. Whether it came to my height, my weight, my race… There were times my own parents put me down as well. I’ve had a lot of downs in my life that caused my depression to skyrocket for years. My parents were mentally and physically abusive, people who I thought were my friends left me behind, and my relationship was constantly on and off. I was never the smart girl, the pretty girl, the girl everyone wanted to know… I was just me. Regular, ordinary, awkward, and weird. I had a lot of dreams that really helped me keep pushing, keep trying, and keep living. I also have a few friends who really believed in me and kept encouraging me to keep going when I was about to quit.

I like to believe I’m still in this life because I still haven’t done everything I was meant to do. Have what I’m meant to have. Meet who I have yet to meet. I’m a catholic, but not a truly devoted one. I don’t go to church every Sunday. I am not abstinent. I don’t read the bible as a past time. I always left my Sunday school and I never went on missionary projects. I do pray when I’m scared, thankful, lost, nervous, and/or afraid. I do believe in God, and how things can happen in his name. Good or bad, he has me experience everything for a reason. I realized this when he brought me to my lowest but gave me people to recognize and appreciate. I realized it when I ended up getting to where I am now.

I believe there’s a pattern. Don’t get down if you didn’t get the same amount of luck, or you feel stuck. Once you realize that everything you’re experiencing is for a good reason, you’ll know that you won’t be in that position for long.

Life can throw many different people, problems, and/or events at you at any time, any point of your life.

Whether you were just walking down the side walk and suddenly run into someone you feel like you've met before.

You lose your job out of the blue.

You lose someone you love.

You wrecked your car

You lost your phone

You finally graduated school with that degree.

You get the job you've been hoping for.

You get the date.

You get the raise.

Whatever it is, whether it's good or bad, remember not to let it affect you and your true self. Life can really fuck you up—good or bad, it's the way you handle it that can really affect you.

Meaning, if you're catching a lot of good don't let it give you a swelled head, affect your relationships, or make choices you can't undo. If you're catching a lot of bad (this one has a bit of common sense in it), don't put yourself down, don't give up or lose hope, and don't use it as an excuse to stop you from trying harder.

Your life is worth so much. Don’t let people, things, events, or the news affect you and how you think and feel about yourself. Don’t also let people make you believe that you have to love yourself before someone can love you. You can learn to love yourself while someone also learns or just loves you.

Remember to be kind, helpful, friendly, smart, have common sense, and also try and live life safely. Remember your health; take your vitamins, workout/exercise, stretch, get enough sleep to keep you fueled and energized throughout the day. Love yourself and everyone around you. Let go of people who are toxic, hurt you physically and mentally, and clearly don't care or wish the best for you.