Don't believe everything you think.

The mighty elephant possesses immense strength, able to uproot trees solely with its trunk. Yet, it remains captive, restrained by a slender rope. Despite its power to easily escape, it makes no attempt to break free. Why? The story begins during its youth, when it is first bound with a feeble rope, still lacking the strength to break it. In initial efforts, it strives with all its might to break loose, but eventually realizes its efforts are in vain. Gradually, a force stronger than chains or barriers takes hold of it—an unshakable belief that escape is impossible. This belief restrains the elephant, impeding its potential despite its capabilities. Comparable beliefs have constrained many of us, causing us to feel unfulfilled in our work, struggle in relationships, and lead lives far from our desired reality.

I've encountered these same limiting beliefs, and you may have as well—convictions that hindered me in my journey. They held me back, fostering dissatisfaction in my career, relationship difficulties, and a life far from what I envisioned. Only by acknowledging these constraints and actively challenging them did I transition into a different reality. How does one break free from such bonds? One key is to question our thoughts and assumptions. As a child, I had a cherished babysitter named Amber. My mother once revealed we couldn't afford her services. That day, my first entrepreneurial venture began—I painted rocks and sold them door-to-door. The evening was shared with Amber, and I was unreserved, guided by my instincts. However, growing up eroded this audacity. Boldness turned to timidity, leadership into conformity, and fearlessness into anxiety. Childhood rarely passes without some unseen ropes from our upbringing. My mother's quest for perfection molded me, shattering my self-trust. Other ropes emerged from a family of strong opinions, school pressure, and early heartbreak. The ropes anchored me: "I'm not enough. Stay silent. Don't stand out. Fear failure." These thoughts governed my actions, leading to unfulfilling jobs and strained relationships. A chain reaction of beliefs influenced my worldview and behavior, shaping a self-fulfilling prophecy. My world contracted, reflecting my diminished beliefs.

Beliefs exert powerful influence, as demonstrated by psychological studies. At Dartmouth, subjects were given false scars. Despite removing them before interactions, participants still perceived awkwardness. Highlighting identity affects performance, as shown with an Asian woman excelling in math under her Asian identity and faltering under her female identity. Racial stereotypes impact athletic performance based on beliefs. The belief in a white coat's medical significance enhances attention compared to perceiving it as an artist's coat. These instances showcase beliefs shaping reality. They're like virtual reality headsets, distorting our perspective. Beliefs, often inaccurate, remain despite their inaccuracy. Models can feel insecure, despite beauty, and authors may shun success due to undeservedness. Headsets breed false perceptions and hinder connections.

I learned this through relationships. Silence from someone named Ben generated varying interpretations, demonstrating the influence of personal beliefs. My misconceptions severed the connection. Only later did I discover Ben's past scars influencing his actions. Our headsets imperil relationships and distort communication. Slowly, I realized that just as beliefs hinder us, they also propel us. A scar study suggests that self-perceived beauty enhances interactions. I learned this lesson in law school, recognizing my limiting beliefs reinforced by societal norms. Enrolling in a creative class shattered these chains, instilling trust in my voice, courage in taking risks, and embracing imperfection. Amidst struggle, I felt liberated and accomplished, leading to self-discovery. This realization extended to other facets of life, reevaluating my beliefs and acting accordingly. Bold steps followed: refusing a law firm job, venturing into new roles, and embracing uncertainty. I entered a career aligning with my passion, transcending past limitations.

Though a journey, this process alters our reality. The Marshmallow Challenge highlights the importance of open-mindedness in innovation. Kindergarteners excel because they're unencumbered by limiting beliefs. Children reside in a world without ropes, where possibility prevails. Likewise, dismantling my headset was pivotal, breaking down limiting beliefs. With each step, my reality transformed. While I still grapple with some beliefs, my goal is to lessen them over time. This journey encourages awareness and thought questioning. The talk's intention is to be a seed for such transformation—to challenge ingrained beliefs, identify our ropes, and take the steps toward freedom. For everyone, regardless of circumstance, a life awaits beyond these constraints. It requires persistent effort, replacing old beliefs with new ones. As one new thought begets another, and one new action follows another, we eventually find ourselves immersed in a new, unrestrained reality. Thank you.