Discover Your True Joy: 5 Ways To Find What You’re Really Chasing

When my last relationship ended, I found myself suddenly wondering what my goals meant to me. I had focused on my past five years chasing a dream with this woman (I created happiness, art, and community in NYC, adopted some dogs, and eventually returned to California to start a family together).

At least that's what we thought we were chasing.

When we realized that our lives together had come to a standstill, and that we lacked the energy to engage, and that we rarely took real pleasure in each other, our roads suddenly wandered and I found myself without a lover, best friend, and participant. I was also given a great opportunity to look at my life with new eyes.

I realized that by narrowing down our vision and pursuing our one shared dream, we were shutting ourselves out of personal experiences that could be taken to build our happiness, promote our art, and create that powerful life we ​​both dreamed of.

We have allowed ourselves to be deprived of a meaningful life by pursuing the goals we thought would take us there. We were stuck in a chase for the wrong things for the right reason.

I started exploring what I had been busy doing judging you in all aspects of my life. Pursuing my career, chasing my unimaginable freshly made life, and knowing who I am now that I have not been defined by this external relationship.

I realized it was time to move on and find the unexpected.

Here are some steps you can take to begin the process of preparation for mediation. Try to respond in less than twenty seconds, with the first thing that comes to mind. You might be surprised.

1. What causes you to lose track of time?

I have always loved to fix things and work with my hands. The broken pieces excite me as my mind revolves around how they tickle. I know there is a reason if I could only find it. It's a beautiful puzzle, but sometimes the minuets crawl past. By chasing the result (to make it work), I stopped being current.

I have found that I have never felt the urge to draw or paint. No matter how long it takes me to choose a color, from when I pick up the brush to the second one I put on, the floor sounds like one minute of liquid.

2. What makes you happy?

It could be sunlight, dogs, laughter, love, cooperation, or music. I pursued my career goals in the music industry by working in a studio that had no windows or sunlight for ten hours a day, and while there was a reward for helping people achieve their dreams and make their art, I realized I was chasing something wrong.

What made me happy was not just making the music sound better or putting buttons together; helped people find and release their albums. When I saw that I was made happier by sharing, by making art, my goals changed to more people and the connection was focused and it left me feeling more fulfilled.

3. If you do not have debts to pay, what can you do?

You can live on a private island off the coast, or maybe you can start a free service for the most needy. Personally I realized I had to create.

The thought of “working for free” terrified me, and all I focused on in life was going back to this deep need to create something. Even silence remained at peace. Once I realized what my driving skills were, it was much easier to make decisions based on what I knew was my real desire.

4. If you are an adult, what will be the most important thing?

You may be chasing things, people, awards, or achievements that seem great and important right now. You've given your all to reach this point, so why stop now? Ask yourself how deeply it will affect people in their twenties, thirties, fifties. When I get a gold record, it’s a huge success, but I don’t want to be remembered for a wall mural.

I would like to be remembered as a warm, healthy, loving, heartfelt, full of hope and enthusiasm. The gold sales award does not recall that.

5. What do you really want?

Honestly ask yourself, what do you get when you reach the end of this race? I was chasing goals that I thought would help shape the future of my love life, or that would help further my professional career - there was my "reason" - but having a high-quality career didn't help me connect more deeply with the artists. It was not in line with my real desires.

Our relationship seemed to be chasing the same goals, but in the end our pursuit actually prevented us from achieving the real thing. Ask yourself if you are pushing the habit or just want to rush; make sure you work honestly and reach your real goals.

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I have come to realize that much of what we focus on in life is not necessarily what we want it to be. Since then, I have reduced my time commitment to work within, and now I use that time to create art and build relationships with people who value the creative life I want to live. It brought new life into my actions and helped me to understand the deeper reasons for my choices.

Apart from walking a long and often painful road, we rarely find real reasons why we chase our dreams, even if those dreams are well-defined.

What remains is that it will never go according to plan. Let your heart be open to the unexpected and stay flexible and relaxed. Like a dog running after a ball when a squirrel suddenly appears, it gladly accepts the opportunity to chase a new one and jump into your new road with joy.