Developing and Sustaining a Healthy Mindset

Most of my friends know that I chose a new mantra for 2021 that I have really fallen in love with. It is a quote from Rumi that says “live life as if everything is rigged in your favor”.

It always reminds me that even when things don’t feel like they are working out like I hoped, that in the end, it will all make sense. Now I always believe that even if things go "wrong" that it is actually for my benefit. It is a wonderful stress reducer that brings me a lot of peace. Today I had a shining example of that in a tiny way which brought me so much joy that I feel inspired to share.

I have been working on some art projects for our retreat center and am trying to create mosaics from what we have available on our property. The first one I made was on a small pallet that our stove was delivered on. Now I am making one on a piece of leftover old plywood but I ran out of glue for the seashells yesterday.

Honestly, I was feeling a little stressed that I could not keep working. I have never even made a mosaic before so it’s not like this is a skill or talent I have but I was in the flow state and feeling inspired. I run my life by listening to my intuition daily for what to work on rather than a to-do list, so sometimes I worry if I have a project that needs to be finished that my inspiration may fade.

Today Roberto came home with several bottles of glue for me and I felt so relieved. I actually found this a little funny because in the grand scheme of life this art project doesn’t really matter but building this retreat center that brings others joy and healing is my dream so I do want everything to be perfect. I’m sure that is where the pressure was coming from.

Tonight I asked Roberto to come and join me in my seashell collection as this is a pretty big piece of plywood and I am running low on shells. We always love watching the sunset together so it felt like it would be some nice quality time. As we were walking down the beach we hit a goldmine of seashells! I found myself in a pure state of joy, wonder, and excitement of the wide variety of shells in front of me.

I felt completely elated and realized that I had run out of glue for a reason. If I would have had enough glue I most likely would have forced myself to finish the project as quickly as possible using the seashells I had. Instead, I found an amazing treasure trove tonight of so many different colored shells and even a couple of sand dollars - the first ones I have seen in El Salvador!

My mantra immediately popped into my mind and it reinforced my belief that everything is rigged in my favor. Running out of glue seemed like such a minor issue that I had forgotten all about my mantra.

Today I wanted to remind you that mantras can be a very powerful tool for developing and sustaining a healthy mindset. The reason mantras are helpful is actually based on how our brain functions.

Our brains have an amazing component called the reticular activating system. This part of our brains is like an executive assistant that decides what stays in the subconscious and what can enter into the conscious mind. It filters out unnecessary noise and helps your conscious mind function better. It allows you to focus on what you value, it supports you when you set goals, and it allows you to perceive a threat. 

Unfortunately, many of us use this part of our brain completely wrong. We focus on feeling broken, like a failure, or like a mess and because we are constantly feeling that way, our reticular activating system thinks that feeling that way must be important to us - so it tries to support us in feeling that way! It actually reinforces our negative self-talk and inner critic.

A mantra is a way to tell your brain what you value. You don’t want to choose something that doesn’t truly resonate because if you are doubtful or a skeptic, you aren’t going to trick your brain! It is too smart for that.

If you feel fat and ugly then you don’t want to start off by repeating “I am beautiful” all the time. It's too big of a leap if you don't truly believe it. Instead, you could say “I am a work in progress and learning to love myself more each day.” That will help shift your brain into loving yourself a little more each day until you are ready to upgrade your mantra to something else.

I chose the Rumi quote because I am a very introspective person and what I have learned from reflecting on my life is that everything always does ultimately work out. If I hadn’t hit the roadblocks and hurdles in my life then I wouldn’t be who I am today.

Everything I have gone through has made me stronger, wiser, more open-minded, and compassionate. It has led me to where I am today and living a life I love. So I decided why wait for hindsight to connect the dots? Why not know in my heart that no matter what is going on in my life, it is all conspiring to work out in my favor? 

Living with this mantra in my heart and mind this year has made 2021 pretty incredible. In my moments of frustration, I can quickly shift to know that things are actually working out in my favor. I no longer have a bad day, I have a few moments until I catch myself and say my mantra, and then the frustration is gone and I am focused on what I can control - my attitude.

So today I want to encourage you to think about what feelings and mindset are truly important to you. Try to create an affirmation or mantra that can help your brain realize this way of thinking is important to you. Your brain is wired to help you reach your goals, it’s up to you to use it appropriately!

Here are a few mantras you could try out:

I am doing my best every day.

I am in charge of my own happiness.

I am always healing, and never alone.

I am willing to see things differently, even if I'm not ready to yet.

I am learning to let go of fear.

I am learning to respect the process when I do not understand it.

I am allowed to feel good about myself.

I am worthy of all that I desire.

This is a perfect time of year to focus on some new goals for the new year. Your reticular activating system is here to support you. What does it need to focus on in order to help you achieve what you truly want in life? Stop what you are doing right now and take some time to ponder before you move on with your day.

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