COVID-19 THROUGH AN INTROVERT’S LENS

Quarantine is a paradise for introverts.

I am 22 years old, a student who is studying at a local Polytechnic. When I received the stay-home notice on the third of April, I was instructed that online lessons will be conducted the next following week. As a concern for a design student, I felt that going to school to do our regular research and other work was unnecessary, considering the time consumed to travel back and forth on weekdays. The buzz of school activities is really draining me dry. Those endless days of hard work to squeeze out every inch of my brain juice and sleepless nights as I rushed the project to completion. Hearing people's unsolicited opinions about me, and being an emotional dumping ground for those in need. Each day, the routine repeats itself and felt like I'm stuck in a repetitive cycle of life.

Prior to the lock-down, e-learning is how students can practice online learning skills and maintain the interaction between teachers and students, hence staying home to do my work is quite comfortable. The first few weeks were a smooth sail, except some miscommunications and a little lack of productivity to stay focused. I always have the anxiety to attend meetings, about how I look in front of the webcam, the background noises, the wall decor and more, and more, and more. There will be multiple worries about how I present myself all the time, from the way I dressed to how I speak to others. Then, I found out that I was too self-aware about the things happening around me and that's why I never feel rested.

Nearing the start of my internship, my schedule was empty for several days. The day was the most boring because I was very accustomed to the busy lifestyle when the hours of my sleep were limited and my to-do list was packed with many tasks. Feeling unproductive, I was searching for chores to do. I started with cooking meals at different times of the day, while I referred to new recipes for inspirations. The free time had allowed me to pursue my hobbies, I spent time thinking of new ideas to apply my illustration skills into creative areas that I have never tried before, such as writing a script and drawing out some scenes for a comic book.

I was thriving from time to time by playing out new thoughts in my mind. Sometimes I read up on articles, other times were when I discovered my interest in appreciating the old films I heard of and re-watched my childhood favorites. After the stay-home measures ended, I took time to appreciate small walks, especially during the night when the neighborhood is no longer bustling with noises. At times, I pondered about the wonders of nature, sometimes even wondered what people could be doing at that hour of time. Are they having dinner with their family? Or maybe they are still working till late hours? Or are there people giving a thought to their future hopes and dreams like me? But through these times, I realized that I embarked on a self-discovery journey when I constantly reflect on myself and it is a growth towards adulthood. Learning something new about myself, how I had changed from the old me and this can be a story shared to inspire other young talents who haven't uncovered their next chapter in life yet. Now every activity, every in-the-mood moment, every life event has become an important asset to remind myself of this pandemic.

“I am, and I can be an island of my own” -V