Confidence You Can Wear

Fitting in is hard. Believe me, I tried. It turns out, it really wasn’t my thing. I was a regular fish-out-of-water when it came to current trends or hot topics. Needless to say, my high-school years were less than easy. But who doesn’t have a bad-high-school-experience story? It’s nothing new. What WAS new however, was the story I had missed during these years. My name is Ashley, I am an illustrator, designer, and school-teacher from Kalgoorlie Western Australia – and this is the story that led me to my dream of becoming a fashion designer and beyond.

I grew up in a range of country towns, moving schools every few years. This ultimately made three things happen for me as a person. First, it made it incredibly hard to fit in – being always new, and never permanent. Second, it made me understand the importance of change, and that adapting to it is smoother than fighting it. Finally, it made it easy for me to discover who I really was at a young age, experimenting with different versions of myself with each move, but always eventually settling into my comfortable truth. Some called me unique. Most called me freak. I embraced it. For most of these years, that meant wearing a hand knitted fox hat I had made myself.

Wearing that hat made me feel invincible. I could ignore every insult, and brush off every doubt. This soft, floppy mix of orange wool was my sword and shield. I started to speak up more. Share more. Create more. Before I knew it, harsh words disappeared from the mouths of people around me. Instead, they invited me in rather than pushing me out. Graduation soon came, and I flicked through the yearbook. I almost didn’t look at the list of names in the back – the list of who was what in our school. The smartest. The funniest. The prettiest. I dared not look. Almost.

Ashley – most down to earth. Ashley – most creative. Ashley – most likely to succeed. Was this a misprint? Or perhaps a joke? But as I glanced around at silent rows of black gowns and hopeful faces, I caught the odd smile and nod; a pair of raised brows; a wink. They saw me. They had been seeing me - because of a silly knitted hat. It filled me with hope, and pride, and inspiration. I wanted to make EVERYONE feel seen.

Fast forward almost 10 years. A lot has changed. Marriage. Children. A career as a teacher ahead of me, and as a portrait photographer behind me. I have been searching for that purpose. To help others shine their light. To show their beauty in their differences. To help them realize they can be whoever they dream to be, and become more than they imagine. But how? What do people need to feel this way? The answer had been sitting there, collecting dust. Fading with time, and stretching with wear; my sword and shield. My CONFIDENCE. If something as simple as a hat could make me feel invincible, imagine what an entire outfit could do...and imagined I did.

My years of art and design came spilling onto the digital page. A pattern emerged. And then another. And another. A roll of fabric like the cape of a superhero unfurled in my lounge. Sheers gliding like butter to create shapes which were sewn and morphed together; it felt like time itself was being pulled into one place. The punchline my life had been leading up to. Unique. Confidence I could wear. Confidence I could share.

This was now the moment before the moment. I stepped out into the summer streets, donning a hand drawn covered garment of vibrance and quirk. Did people stare? How could they not; but it felt incredible. People stopped me to compliment me. Where could they get one? What sizes were available? Were more designs coming? My heart SANG, and a world of creative opportunity opened up.

As a mother, I quickly realized the power of creating something to bring confidence to children as well as adults. That these designs could be transformed into tools for education as well as self-expression. From there, my ideas multiplied and filled me with purpose. My passion project is creating unique and beautiful fabric designs, with the goal to get a regular clothing line available for children, men, and women of all shapes and sizes. I also hope to begin creating educational tools for teachers and home-schooling parents with the characters I design and draw.

Fitting in is hard. So I say don’t. Stand out, and be you instead.

By Ashley Altes