Coming As You Are

A blank page can be one of the scariest things, starting completely from scratch. I feel there is so much expectation before even starting, the expectation for something to be perfect, your best, meaningful, the kickstarter, breath-taking, inspiring, it has to be everything at once. You're buried by the weight of all these unachievable expectations that you don't even start. You leave before trying. But here’s the importance of coming as you are, you're not perfect, flawless, awe-inspiring - but what is great is that you are you.

Putting no expectation on yourself apart from being the authentic you gives so much more freedom and makes everything feel lighter.

Now a good amount of perfectionism can be healthy, can push your creations and work to be better. However, for so many of us, perfectionism is a self-doubt mechanism disguised as something good for us when really it’s just pulling us back into our comfort zones where we are safe and don’t get hurt, but don’t get anywhere either.

Where does perfectionism come from? In my eyes, fear of failing, looking bad or being rejected. If we critique ourselves so much, then no one else can. If we critique ourselves so much that we don’t even start our planned project, then no one else can critique it. To put it simply, we’re afraid of getting hurt. We don’t want to be judged by others, we don’t want to be rejected by others and we don’t want to be critiqued by others.

There’s an amazing quote from Theodore Roosevelt that says:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

And here’s the importance of showing up. I’m no snowflake millennial who gives you a cookie for just participating in the race, but credit should be given where credit is due; and credit is due to the people who are daring to be themselves, daring to show themselves to the public and daring to be vulnerable. You don’t need to be perfect, no one is frankly. Courage comes from just showing up. And if anyone wants to judge you, remember this:

“If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback” - Brene Brown.

The courageous one is the person who acknowledges their perfectionism, their fear of failure and self-doubt - and carries on anyway; daring to be themselves, because at least they are out there in the arena. “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” as Brene Brown greatly said.

This piece is truly me, I didn’t spend hours on this or think deeply about it, I cut up a bunch of stuff that stuck out to me and meant something to me and glued it together in one big flow. I personally love collages, and how quickly they get done. It's not awe-striking, it's not something only expert artists can do, but it's me. I'm writing this caption knowing it's not perfect but I am approaching this as I am, which is a flawed human being. And there is so much more worth in simply doing what you love and being who you are then being perfect.