Bitches Get Shit Done

My dad always told me when I was growing up, that I shouldn't trust anyone and to always look out for myself first. "Be kind to others, but not at the expense of your own happiness." I think those were his exact words... or something like it. Looking back, I wish I would've listened harder to his advice. I was so dead set on being right, that I didn't look out to see everything I was doing wrong. I thought I was so lucky. I could've sworn I had awesome friends who loved me for who I was. I could not have been more wrong. My dad repeatedly tried to tell me that they were using me. At the time, I didn't know how he knew right off the bat that they were using me. It didn't make any sense. Until I realized why. It took me about nine years to realize it was because he had known people just like the friends I had chosen. He had had friends just like the friends I had. It took dropping out of college and getting pregnant for me to realize who my true friends were. It took a ton of people abandoning me when they realized I had run out of money to spend on them. It took me overhearing one of the people I considered my best friend calling me a cunt and saying that she was just friends with me because of the parties I threw to realize that my dad had been right all along.

Unfortunately, this is the case for a lot of people. This isn't just my story. There's not a lot of people that want to listen when their parents tell them that their friends are just using them. Especially teenagers. It's horrible too because the people that are using other people are usually considered the assholes. Most of the time, those people are assholes. They have one thing right though; they look out for number one. I don't know who said it first, but they said it right when they said, "bitches get shit done." Don't take that the wrong way, I don't think it's right or fair to take advantage of trusting people. Honestly, I think it's low and one of the most selfish things you can do. There's a difference between using people and looking out for your best interest. Using people, you don't care who you hurt. You’re literally using other nice people for your own benefit and don’t give a shit about them. Looking out for your best interest, you care and you do everything within reason not to hurt anyone along the way. And when, inevitably, you do hurt someone, you try not to look back. You don't keep going back to that person to try and convince them that it wasn't your fault. You pick yourself up and you remove every piece of yourself from their presence. You let them mend themselves and own your shit. Selfish people don't care how much they hurt you or how many times they break your heart. People who are using you for their own advantage only care about not breaking their own hearts and they make that very clear, you just have to look for the signs.

But I'll repeat myself; these people have one thing right, they look out for number one above all else. Bitches get shit done. Don't trust anyone. Don't tell anyone your plans for the future. If you plan something big, keep your mouth shut until it's done. If you're not happy but you're afraid your happiness might make someone else unhappy, do what the fuck makes you happy. If you spend your whole life taking care of everyone else and making sure everyone else but you is happy, you'll die unhappy. Obviously, there are exceptions to these rules; like your kids. Your children's happiness should always come first... unless they're two and their idea of true happiness is eating candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However, when I'm older and my daughter is old enough to be the determining factor of her own happiness, I'll go back to completely focusing on my happiness... unless she needs my help. There are very few exceptions to the taking care of others before yourself rule. I’m a firm believer of taking care of your parents when they can’t take care of themselves too. But everyone else, without using a better phrase, can suck it. Your happiness is important. What’s the point of life if not to be happy?

A friend told me recently that I focus too much on looking out for other people and it's time for me to be a bitch. He is absolutely, one hundred percent right. I'm a bitch in a couple senses of the word. I speak my mind and that offends a lot of people and I'm a bitch in that way. However, as much as I'd like to think I am, I am not the bitch who turns people away when they have problems, even if I have problems of my own. It's time for me to start though. I stopped myself from asking someone for money that they owed to my family because I knew they were going through their own shit. Everyone told me to go after their ass and take what was owed to me. I regret every damn day that I didn't listen. I spent too much time caring about the well-being of someone who used me for years. The friend who finally made me realize this, laughed when I thanked him for telling me I was being an idiot. He's also one of two friends I've had who have ever told me that I look out too much for other people. It's hard to recognize true friends, but they make it pretty easy when they say things like "...but on some real shit fuck everyone else being before you." And then offer to help you put yourself before everyone. He's also the inspiration for this article. He's pretty badass for putting himself first.

There are so many badass people out there who don't do things for themselves and I know a lot of them, myself included. I also know a lot of badass bitches, who changed their shit, listened to their parents (who, let's face it, were right more than we care to admit), and got shit done. Most of whom, I'm still friends with. Remember that when you're looking out for number one, you might lose some 'friends' but you will never lose your actual friends. Your parents were right. Most of those people aren't your friends. Stop spending money on them. Stop stopping your life to make their problems your problems. If they stick around, they're going to be around awhile. But ultimately, focus on yourself. Quit putting everyone else before you.

Bitches get shit done. Be a bitch.